Saying "no" isn't fun, so turn it into a "yes" instead!
ADHD parents have opportunities to say “no” to their kids, a lot! Typically it’s not fun for anyone when we have to do it. A few years back, I made a promise to my kids that unless I have a good reason to say no, one that I am willing to share, I will always try to say yes.
Sometimes this makes things harder because I have to look like the bad guy:
Daughter: “Mom, can I have a sleepover tonight?”
Me: “Honey, I’d like to say yes, but I’m just too tired to deal with having an extra person in the house tonight.”
Mostly, it forces me to really look at why I’m saying no, and make sure it’s for a good reason:
Son: “Mom, can I clean up my bedroom after I watch my show?”
Me: (after I think about it) “As long as it’s done by 1pm, when we need to leave for our appointment, I don’t really care. What is your plan for getting it done by then?”
Note: if you have a “complex” kid, this is a critical part of the process!
So next time, before you use the “N” word, make sure you understand why you are saying it, and see if you might be able to find a way to turn it into a YES!
Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster, founders of ImpactADHD.com, teach/write about practical strategies to parents of “complex” kids with ADHD and related challenges. To help your kids find the motivation to get anything done, download their free parent’s guide, The Parent’s Guide to Motivating Your Complex Child
This article was originally published at ImpactADHD. Reprinted with permission from the author.