So Why Get Married Anyway


You know the story by now.  Girl meets boy.  There’s a big wedding.  Then the problems start, around half of all marriages fail, and it turns out a lot more aren’t all that happy.   

Is marriage the kiss of death to a perfectly good relationship?   


Unfortunately the odds of eternal bliss aren’t that good if you cohabitate either.  You can’t beat the odds by not tying the knot. 

Once upon a time, people walked down the aisle of their local house of worship because the social and economic structure didn’t give them much choice.  Marriage was once the only acceptable way to have children.  Those needs may be less – but marriage isn’t going out of favor. 

When I married my first love, I never imagined that I would be calling her my first wife.  No, like everyone else, we both believed that we had the deepest love, the longest hopes, and dreams of a long beautiful and fulfilling life together.  But we didn’t need to be married for social or economic reasons.  Things got tough, and we got going.  Separately.

Did marriage ever really work?  Or did people just stick with it, hoping for a few good times in amongst the long years of fading love.  And now we don’t need to stay in a disappointing marriage, have we replaced life-long monogamy with an expectation of two or three reasonably long marriages in our life?

These questions were very real for Dr. Harville Hendrix, who was working as a professor of marital therapy at the time of his divorce.  He actually managed to make sense out of it all in the end and wrote it all down in the best-seller “Getting The Love You Want”.  The book even led to a worldwide approach to couples therapy called “Imago”.


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