So Why Get Married Anyway


You know the story by now.  Girl meets boy.  There’s a big wedding.  Then the problems start, around half of all marriages fail, and it turns out a lot more aren’t all that happy.   

Is marriage the kiss of death to a perfectly good relationship?   


Unfortunately the odds of eternal bliss aren’t that good if you cohabitate either.  You can’t beat the odds by not tying the knot. 

Once upon a time, people walked down the aisle of their local house of worship because the social and economic structure didn’t give them much choice.  Marriage was once the only acceptable way to have children.  Those needs may be less – but marriage isn’t going out of favor. 

When I married my first love, I never imagined that I would be calling her my first wife.  No, like everyone else, we both believed that we had the deepest love, the longest hopes, and dreams of a long beautiful and fulfilling life together.  But we didn’t need to be married for social or economic reasons.  Things got tough, and we got going.  Separately.

Did marriage ever really work?  Or did people just stick with it, hoping for a few good times in amongst the long years of fading love.  And now we don’t need to stay in a disappointing marriage, have we replaced life-long monogamy with an expectation of two or three reasonably long marriages in our life?

These questions were very real for Dr. Harville Hendrix, who was working as a professor of marital therapy at the time of his divorce.  He actually managed to make sense out of it all in the end and wrote it all down in the best-seller “Getting The Love You Want”.  The book even led to a worldwide approach to couples therapy called “Imago”.


Article contributed by

Imago Relationships


Imago Relationships International helps couples have the conversations they need to change their lives together.  We've been saving relationships for 30 years, ever since our co-founder Harville Hendrix, PhD wrote the best-seller "Getting The Love You Want".

Today you can find an Imago weekend workshop in 25 countries, or get help from over 1200 Certified Imago therapists.  We give you the communication skills and understanding you need to forge a deeper and more loving connection.

Try our some free relationship help online at

Location: New York, NY
Credentials: MA
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by Imago Relationships:

Schwarzenegger, Divorce, And An Old Joke About Directions


The break-up between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver reached such epic proportions of tragedy this week, that I prefer to start this post with a joke. I was visiting Washington, DC , and got horribly lost. I asked a passer-by directions to the White House. He looked me up and down and finally said "Well, I wouldn't start from ... Read more

Why Being A Parent AND A Spouse Is So Hard...


Sophia stirs in her sleep as she hears the insistent whine from her daughter Jenny’s room. “Mommy, take me to the bathroom please…Mommy”. By this time Marcus is already wide awake. “Take her, please” he says “I have to be up in an hour”. It’s 4 am. Now Sophia is wide awake. “She’s seven. She ... Read more

We Love Each Other. How Can We Stop Fighting?


Lisa settles into the couch, rests her hand to her stomach, and smiles when she feels a tiny kick. Late afternoon sunlight filters across gleaming tables, and the neat array of family photos, and spotless ornaments. Minutes later she’s on her feet screaming abuse at Geoff. How could he come home like that, dump his coat onto the chair, grab a beer, ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Most Popular