Now the rule is no longer being broken. We know how NOT great it is when those rules are being broken, so isn’t it now so much easier to express the gratitude that’s in our heart when the arguing, bad attitude, and name-calling ARE NOT HAPPENING? All it takes is putting that appreciation into words.
“Cathy, I know you are still really mad about not being able to see your friends because of all your schoolwork, and I so appreciate that you are using your power and wisdom to handle your strong feelings so well. You are not arguing, name-calling, or saying bad words, and that shows me great respect and consideration. You are being wonderfully thoughtful too, and those are all qualities of your greatness I see in you.”
I know it will feel cumbersome and wordy at first, but watch the impact. The post-reset moments are chock full of opportunities to break through to new territory. We are the ones who introduce our kids to whom they really are as great people, and it comes through nurturing their hearts with real-live experiences of their success in each moment – via our words of gratitude.