...with a bad relationship history.
For some women, finding a good man can seem like the hardest thing imaginable because their history of bad relationships has been long and drawn out. Some women might imagine what being with a nice guy is like, but it's overshadowed by all the negative energy from her past. Yes, bad relationships are baggage for women, and we don't let that stuff go without a battle to protect ourselves.
Men Who Date Women With Bad Relationship Baggage
For you men who date women with bad relationship baggae, get ready. This will be an uphill battle until the baggage is claimed. Almost instantly when meeting a woman, you should be able to determine just how much baggage she has. She might make simple comments like:
"Been there, done that before. Just waiting for the next waste-of-my-time relationship," or "Every man I have ever been with was a nightmare," or "The only thing I know about men is what liars and cheats they are," or "From the outside, we looked so perfect, but inside, it was the biggest train wreck ever."
You get the drift. If you are dating a woman with this negativity, you can still salvage a relationship with her. Time is going to have to be on your side with this task. You have to help her understand, and show her with your actions that you are serious about changing the cycle.
Breaking Down Walls Of Bad Relationship Baggage
The hardest thing for a woman with bad past relationships is to do is realize she is worth more. Bad relationships can really do a number on a good woman. All the harsh experiences can leave her feeling damaged and not good enough for any man. This will increase her distrust for men in general. Digging past all that baggage can be hard, but if you have found that girl that makes you smile from within, she is worth it. Women that have gone through bad relationships have signs they look for, which signal to them they are heading down the same path. Most women who have bad relationship experiences will talk a bit about them and let the guy they are dating know what they have suffered, whether domestic violence or another form of mistreatment. That is information for you to store deep within your heart, because it's going to help you. Here is a list of helpers to get those deep, bad relationship internal walls broken down:
Time. It doesn't get much easier to comprehend than that. The longer you stick it out with a woman who isn't very accepting, the more it helps her. She will grow to depend on you in a good way. Rushing a woman isn't going to help you get her to trust you. Do things on her time frame, because it will help build a solid foundation for a relationship.
Be thoughtful and compassionate. Women who have had bad relationships are not used to being taken care of or cared about in any genuine way. They expect to have to do something in return. A nice card and flowers or taking care of her when she is sick, and accepting nothing in return, will help her realize you are a good guy.
Accepting her baggage and helping her move on. This might even involve counseling, which is great. You are showing her a support system and that you care enough to see her make it through a tough time. It also will demonstrate that you are a keeper.
Being her friend, instead of her lover. There is no reason to rush anything when you meet a nice girl. Let her deal with those demons in her past, but be her friend to talk to when she is feeling down. Bring over a 6 pack of beer and just talk to her! Those bad-relationship walls will start to crumble, knowing she can hang out with you and not be taken advantage of.
Another thing men are never sure how to handle is what to tell the girl about your feelings. The best way to approach any type of talk is very slow and not too pushy. You can tell her you care about her, but don't set time limits or expectations on a relationship. When she is ready to be with you and when the walls come down, you will know!
Women are complex, but the rewards pay off. Many of us have been through hell and back with dating the wrong men. When you see an attractive woman and she is single, there is a reason for it. Nine times out of ten, it is bad relationships that have tarnished her view of companionship. Following the examples above on how to handle these situations as they approach while working on building a good friend foundation, is how you are going to get your girl.
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This article was originally published at How To Get The Woman of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.