If your first attempt fails, wait a day or two. If she has not returned your call or messages, be patient. It might not mean she is uninterested. Some people have school and work, children or unexpected family emergencies that could cause them to get distracted and not attend to your call right away. At times, there is the rare occasion on which a woman may completely and utterly intrigued by you. This makes us shy; at times too shy to talk on the phone, due to the fear of not knowing what to say or of simply coming off as dumb. And then there is playing hard to get. Some of us may want to test you and see what kind of guy you are. Are you solely interested in sex, or in an actual relationship? Most of us want to see how much you are willing to put forth. We like it when you come off as genuinely interested.
Third call. Wait another two to three days, and as creepy as it may seem (I know) call again. But only once. Leave a message, send another text and remind her who you are, what your name is and where you met. If she still does not respond to your calls and messages, then you should start looking elsewhere if you haven’t already begun doing so. Unless she is at the hospital, having a family emergency, or died unexpectedly, most likely there isn’t a good excuse for this one–unless she returns your call and gives you one. If this happens, don’t start celebrating yet. This can be a red flag (for instance, she has put you on the back burner, has another relationship, is playing games, etc). And another thing–if you do decide that you want to give her a shot and she does this often, you should keep your options open.
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Finally, give her one last call and text before you discard this opportunity and send it to the imaginary abyss. Make sure you wait about a week or so. When you call this time, do not leave a message and do not text. That will just make you come off as the clingy type of guy that doesn’t get a hint when it’s handed to you on a silver platter. If you want to have some dignity, please don’t do that. If after your last try you still have no luck in having her return your calls, texts and voicemails, then there is a 98 percent chance that she is not into you, and you should definitely move on.
On a brighter note, look at it this way: The fact that she did not get back to you saves you time to be you, and to meet, chat and date women who are genuinely interested in you and value you as a person. Your original interests will not always be the best for you, and that’s fine. It’s a part of personal growth. After all, you don’t want to date someone who is flaky and who doesn’t even prioritize you enough to take a simple phone call or return your messages. This would not make you feel very good about yourself, nor or would it fulfill your desire for romantic success.
Relationship Coach Shelly I.
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