There's no science to asking a woman out on a date but there are some things you should consider.
For many men, approaching a woman can be a hard choice to make, because there is always the unknown: what her response will be. For instance, a man might be at a live sporting event and see a group of ladies having a cocktail together. One of the ladies is not only his type, but seems like a happy person. This man might boldly walk over and decide to introduce himself, only to find out that he overlooked her wedding ring.
First off, he should be proud he was bold enough to go for it and find out her story. Secondly, good for him for finding out she was married and walking away politely. A man needs to be prepared and have a backup plan if the situation is wrong or the woman isn't into him. Therefore, it's important to get mentally prepared when approaching a woman.
Mentally Getting Prepared For Approaching A Woman
Listen carefully! Women do not like overly cocky men that are trying to act as though they have the biggest package or are the best lay in the sack. Do not talk about how rich you are, or if you have a 2013 Chevy Camaro with the V8 engine. We do not care about that stuff. Women want to meet a guy who is normal, down-to-earth and respectful.
In today's dating world, the biggest complaint women have is that men have forgotten about being old-fashioned, having manners and showing overall composure. Funny because the ladies are all over that type of guy. As you get yourself into "gonna-get-a-date" mode, think about what a pretty lady would appreciate. Does she want a guy who wants to meet her for a simple coffee or tea, or would she rather have a dinner date that could lead to more after a couple of drinks? You are going to need to think about the type of message you want this potential date to get about you. If your goal is to sleep with her, then go for the dinner date, but already know you are off on the wrong foot. If you would like to get to know her before heading for the bedroom, stick with a coffee date. Once you have your mental plan down, and you know what your goal is, it’s time to plan on a yes or no from her.
Hearing Yes From The Woman You Approached
Congratulations are in order for getting past the first step. Here is where you need to keep your cool. You don't want to seem too aggressive or nervous about getting information exchanged. Here's a great, easygoing way for opening the lines of communication: "That is great that you want to have coffee with me. Perhaps this week when you have time in your schedule? If it’s possible, why don't I get your cell number and we can figure out a good time."
This is not too pushy, but just mellow enough that you ease your way slowly into your future date's mind. From here, you wait a day or so and send her a text letting her know you are looking forward to the coffee date. It sends a nice pleasant message to your future date that you are thoughtful, kind and attentive. Getting a nice dialogue started helps ease the face-to-face coffee date into more of a fun time getting to know each other, because you will have already had some communication via text messages and phone conversations. You don't want to be too chatty via your cell phone — just enough to let her know you are interested. Another thing to make sure you do is find a nice coffee shop or restaurant for dinner. Over the years, I have heard plenty of my friends complain about the coffee shop or restaurant being really dirty and gross. It is totally worth your while to read Yelp reviews or do some investigating to get a nice place picked out. The goal for the first date is to set a nice tone about who you are as a person. If you feel like this woman you are about to have coffee with might be a long-term relationship, you want to make all the right moves from the start.
The Dreaded No From A Woman You Have Approached
Yes, this can be a total bummer, but not the end of the world. Plus, what I have to say will make you feel much better. I have been that single girl at an NFL game or even out at the club with my girlfriends. I have been approached several times by great looking guys that have great careers, but I wasn't interested. The main thing men need to realize is when a woman says no, 99 percent of the time, it has nothing to do with you. My main reasons were that I didn't want to make time to date, I didn't want to focus on anything more than my job and that I was just ending a relationship. Hearing the word no from a woman is almost a blessing in disguise if you really think about it. There might be that moment where you are thinking "What the heck?" but always take into consideration the motive behind the no. You might have dodged the biggest psycho bullet ever, too!
Hearing no should not make you feel like any less of a man, either. As you digest those words, you need to mentally keep yourself positive. Even the hottest men on the planet get turned down, but the surprising fact is that a woman doesn't want to deal with all the issues of dating a hot guy. A smart woman knows that a hot guy means girls are always hitting on him, and doesn't want that competition. There are millions of reasons why women think the way we do, so never take it personally.
No matter how your date goes, or even if it never gets off the ground, realize that there are so many fish in the sea. Getting that first date and getting to know the woman with whom you are hoping for a long-term relationship will take work, patience and lots of time. However, hearing the word no from a woman can also mean you saved yourself from wasting that time and effort, or even dodged a psychopath.
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This article was originally published at How To Get The Woman of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.