If you find yourself on the rejection end, the 'burn' phase of this type of relationship creates a lot of confusion. How could love have seemed so illuminating one moment and be flickering or in ashes the next? What can you do to rekindle the flame?
In the first instance, there is likely not anything. That is why it is best to get to know a new person slowly so both of you can make sure your feelings are based on a realistic knowledge and acceptance of the person the other truly is. In the second case, if you are still interested, you can support your partner by giving them the space they need to deal with what is inhibiting them from wanting to go forward.
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If this choice is made, it is important to set a time limit within yourself in which to see signs your former partner can and is willing to, overcome whatever made them pull back. Otherwise you may waste precious hours, weeks, months or even years waiting for something that is not going to happen.
How can you tell which of the two possibilities fits your own situation? The first is to carefully evaluate what has been said by your partner. If they had a clear reason for ending the relationship or are avoiding you, it is almost certain they have just decided that you are not the right person for them. However, if they are making statements like "I'm just not ready" or "this is moving too fast," they are likely telling you it is not about you, they just need time in order to discover what is going on within them.
Sometimes a person wants to let down the other without hurting their feelings. They may tell them "maybe we can still be friends." However, if they are pulling away because they are not ready for more in the relationship, they may also say the same thing. This makes it difficult to determine their true intent.
Therefore, it is best to have no contact for a while. If you have not heard from your date within a month, you can either just move on from the romance or you can contact them and ask how they have been. Do not push to get a reply or try and make something happen beyond the call. You are simply letting the other know you are still interested in them.
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