Men typically say “no” for two reasons. The first is that there is something about you that he does not like and as a result does not want to make a commitment to you for the rest of his life. It could be physical, mental, family-related or a simple as the color of your hair. It could very well be something about you that you cannot change, such as physical attributes, your family, or your race. He loves you, but the pressures of society–racial, religious or cultural–are greater than his love to commit to you for the rest of his life. He is a weak man, a man whose destiny is not his own but controlled by outside influences.
The second reason is that it is something about him. He, or his parents or his friends, believe there is someone better, or he still wants to sleep around. These secrets he will keep to his dying day. He would rather give you some phony financial excuse for not getting married or starting a family, but we all know that if someone wills something, he or she will find a way to make it happen. Everything else is an excuse.
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The reason why men do not tell you until the last minute
I do not care what you say; all women want to be lied to. Why ask for the truth when you even lie to yourself? Even when a woman is dating a man who tells her the truth about what he’s doing behind her back, she will choose the man doing the same things, but lying to her about it.
You must get over the fairy tale if you want honesty. Get over Prince Charming. How realistic is Prince Charming? This is the problem. Where is he? Someone is always trying to paint a picture of him that doesn’t exist. This reminds me of M.C. Escher’s painting, “Circle Limit IV.” In it, two realities exist at the same time, depending on how you view the painting. Both light and darkness must coexist in order to have balance. In relationships, we often expect Prince Charming, without realizing that Prince Charming cannot exist without his alter ego, Prince Charles. In reality, no one is perfect, including Prince Charming. Prince Charming is going to screw up, too. To think otherwise is unrealistic.
The reason women fail to get the honesty they want out of a man is because they fail to understand how a man truly thinks and feels. They fail to truly listen. “I hear you, honey,” is not the same as, “I understand how you feel.”
Women fail to understand that size has nothing to do with a man’s courage. Women fail to understand that physical strength and stature has nothing to do with his willingness to face you. Until you understand this, you will never get the truth out of men and will always be confused by our decisions. When you truly accept what honesty from a man is, you will truly receive honesty. You can ward off a man’s fear of telling you the truth if there is no inkling of you going out in left field on him when he does so. This is a further testament that you are not truly listening but caught up in your own emotions. Perhaps the hardest part of any relationship is hearing a harsh critique from someone you love. A man instinctively understands the delicacy of your heart and mind, and he would rather not bear the burden of their grief.
Alright, ladies, let’s take a timeout. Whew! I have a test question for you. Tell me, is this a legitimate excuse for running from the altar?
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