Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Possessing the Art of Forgiveness is a Must!

Love, Sex

You never know how the decisions you make today effects tommorow's results.

Before you enter into any relationship, you must learn the art of forgiveness. Why? Because sooner or later we are all going to make mistakes, and if you do not know how to forgive, you can and will build a cage around yourself.

Perhaps this should have been the first article written by, because a lack of forgiveness will not only destroy your relationship, it will destroy families and all of the good times you could have shared together. I believe this subject is especially applicable to women. It seems that men have an uncanny way of picking up the pieces and moving on, perhaps because we are less emotional. 

There is a famous, but very sad, quote: “Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorned.” Perhaps it refers to the irrational behavior we see when women (Despicable Moms) run off, or keep a father from seeing his children, because they are hurt and have not learned to forgive. These character traits, which hurt the children, demonstrate why it is so important to learn to forgive before you enter into a relationship.

Ladies, let’s be realistic. The younger your man--20s or 30s--the more mistakes he is going to make.  Why? Because he, like you, has very little relationship experience and lives in an increasingly sexual society. How can you expect him to be perfect and honest all the time, especially when you really do not want to hear the truth? Why ask a question if the answer is going to hurt or upset you? You have to use your maturity, wisdom and understanding to gain ground. Pain is an opportunity. You have to be that example you seek and desire from your mate. (Women Have the Power to Help Men Become Better)

Get personalized Virtual Coaching with our panel of expert Relationship Coaches.

How do you ever expect to grow if you are going tit for tat with the MOYD? Someone has to be the leader, and since women mature faster than men and essentially have the P-Power, it is you who, with a little more understanding, control the destiny of your man. Thus, your learning to forgive is essential to the healthy development of mankind. You are the flower in which the bee lands. Have you ever seen a flower land on a bee?
Learning to forgive is essential to the success of any relationship, because as sure as the sun rises in the east, men and women in relationships are going to make mistakes. His mistake might be that he cheated and yours might be your unwillingness to forgive him.

The art of forgiving has a two-pronged effect. You take the higher road and become the ruler of those on the lower road, and thus become the perfect example of how you desire the MOYD to treat you. 

Let’s look a little bit into the future. You have a new boyfriend but never learn to forgive your ex.  You have an inappropriate relationship with a coworker. The MOYD finds out and kicks you out of the house. You have nowhere to go. Your ex would have been willing to provide you temporary shelter, but you never forgave him, and your coworker lives with his wife, so he can’t help you, either. All your family is on the other side of the country and all the girls at work hate you for cheating with a married man. The boss finds out so you get fired. Dammmmn! Now you are stuck.  I know you thought yourself perfect and that you would never make a mistake, but here it is in your face--guilty as charged. Don’t feel so bad. Believe me, it happens to the best of us. Everything in this universe is under the law of cause and effect. In order to be forgiven, one must forgive. Cause and effect.

When you learn to forgive, you create harmony instead of discord and dis-ease in your being.  Disease loves an unforgiving heart and mind. It is the result of the law of cause and effect. Learning to forgive, although seemingly simple, is the road to true happiness in an imperfect world.

Please do not wait until your last breath to forgive. Forgive all those ex-boyfriends who caused you pain, so that the MOYD can come into your life. 

Get personalized Virtual Coaching with our panel of expert Relationship Coaches.

Relationship Coach Josh C.

To continue reading more informative articles go to

This article was originally published at How To Get The Man of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.

Explore YourTango