If Anybody Deserved To Have Sex, Jesus Did


If Anybody Deserved To Have Sex, Jesus Did

How can a man come to save this world and not experience a woman? Women should have been throwing themselves at Jesus on general principle. Here you have a man full of love, but you want to sleep with Barabbas?  All right, I know what you’re thinking: An orgasm with Jesus would have been too much too handle. I can still hear you screaming.

How many women today are having spiritual sex with Jesus? You might as well stop hiding the dildo, drop the panties and be honest with yourself. Don’t tell me the pastors and deacons are taking up the slack until Jesus’ return. Ooh-wee, it's getting steamy up in here!

More from YourTango: Rich Suitor, Poor Boyfriend: What Should You Do?

Jesus would have had a woman from every walk of life, because love does not discriminate. Come one, come all. And what's wrong with that? Isn't sex about love? So long as I'm acting in the spirit of love, what's the problem? Sex allows a man to know things about a woman that she can't even tell him about herself. New discoveries are being made every day. In fact, you are  learning things about yourself you didn’t even know. "You put all of that in me? Wow. Oh, holy crap, all of that was inside my body?!" You look so surprised! It's your vagina, but I guess you didn't realize it, because I got to know it just a little bit better than you. It's like a friend teaching you how to use features on your cell phone that you did not even know existed.  Your iPhone can do things you never even knew about until your friend Bubba showed you.

Love sees no color, only your spirit. So why did none of the women on this planet have sex with Jesus when he was here? That makes absolutely no sense. All of that hard work he was putting in to save the world; he even gave his life, and you’re going to tell me that not one woman found him attractive enough to make an offer? None pleaded with him to take some time off and allow himself to experience heaven on earth?  “Come on, Jesus, I am waiting for you!”  I do not believe there is anything more beautiful than being between the legs of a beautiful woman. I'm sorry; Jesus getting none makes no sense to me.

More from YourTango: How Do You Know If You Have The Bomb-Dot-com Vajajay?

If I were Jesus, I would've been putting in work behind the scenes during my off-hours, like John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., Bill Clinton, Michael Jordan and Jesse Jackson, not to mention the likes of Obamacare. Why not? How can you come to properly save the world without getting some pussy? I'm sorry, but a world without vajajay is not a world worth saving.

Think about it. If you couldn't get dick, would life be worth the struggles you go through on a daily basis? Driving through Los Angeles traffic to get home to feed the cat? I don’t think so, honey. How can you be the savior of the world without experiencing a woman? How could you be Superman without experiencing a woman? You might be super-horny, squirting super sperm everywhere because you are over your holding capacity. Even a volcano has to erupt at some point. Eruptions give way to new life and new births. It is necessary for the survival of the human race.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

How To Get The Man Of Your

Jared Kennedy VP of Customer Relations

How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams

Please like our Fan Page:

The #1 online source for relationship advice.

Location: Wilmington, DE
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by How To Get The Man Of Your

Rich Suitor, Poor Boyfriend: What Should You Do?


Okay, here is the scenario: You have been with your man for the past couple of years and right now your relationship is on the teeter-totter. It's not good and it's not bad; it's at a stalemate. You work at a private airport and a rich, successful, very attractive businessman walks in off his private jet and takes an interest in you. You, of course, ... Read more

How Do You Know If You Have The Bomb-Dot-com Vajajay?


Has a man ever told you that your vajajay is the bomb or that you have some snapper vajajay? Some of you might say, “What is snapper vajajay?” The snapper vajajay is that vajajay that, upon entry, keeps a man coming back. He can be a preacher, pastor, deacon, mayor or president. It matters not. All are defenseless against the bomb-dot-com ... Read more

What Is The Proper Role Of A Man In A Relationship?


Well, that depends on whether he is a strong man or weak man. Technically, the man is supposed to be the head of the household; however, in today's world, women work just as hard as men, so the traditional roles are often blurred. Nowadays women make just as much money. I know what you’re thinking; of course, not all women make as much as men, but the ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
divorce court

A Breakdown Of Trust: The Real Problems With The Divorce Corp

Here's what you need to know about the big business of divorce.

Sex: The Signs You Are Dating A Sex Addict

You Asked, He Answered: How Do I Tell If He's A Sex Addict?

You're dating an amazing man, but you're scared he's a sex addict. Here are some warning signs.

Gay Dating

What I Learned About Unconditional Love

Guess Who Is Coming to Easter Dinner, the story of a mother who missed her gay son's wedding.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>