Having Relationship Trouble? Weigh The Pros & Cons

We recommend using the same seven out of ten checklist as a guide. It is described in "When to Sleep with the MOYD." When to have sex with the man you're dating? Seven out of ten is a bit above average, or 70 percent. Use this scale to grade the results.

Factor in the negative traits that you cannot change. Are they deal breakers or not? Then honestly ask yourself this question. Can you work with this deal breaker without eventually going crazy? The answer is either "yes" or "no." 

More from YourTango: Why Do Men Run From The Altar?

If you go forward with the relationship, you have to be able to accept all of these negatives. This man has developed his behavior over his entire life. It would take a miracle for him to change who he is and become who you want him to be.

In your list of pros and cons, note that some character traits come naturally to the man of your dreams and cannot be learned. For example, either someone is affectionate or he is not. Affection is not something you can learn. Likewise, either you are a clean person or you are not. Either you're lazy or you are not. You are either selfish or unselfish. 5 Ways All Men Want To Be Touched

We call all of these traits "fixed characteristics." They are ingrained in the mainframe of your man. They are hardwired and we believe that they are almost impossible to change. For instance, if the man you are dating is sloppy and you're always on his back about cleaning up after himself, he may temporarily improve as a result of your constant nagging. But, as soon as you are out of sight on that week long business trip, all bets are off and he will soon go back to being the sloppy man he always was.

What you didn't realize is that he changed only to satisfy you. He never really wanted to change. It was just a mask he put on to please you. In the end, he went back to the man he really is.

The only chance for real change is when ...

To continue reading this article please go to howtogetthemanofyourdreams.com

Get personalized Virtual Coaching with our panel of expert Relationship Coaches.

More from YourTango: What Do You Do If You Have Occasional Great Sex, But...

Relationship Coach Myles P.