Below, from some of the toughest men you’ll ever meet, are 18 things NOT TO say to the MOYD in jail:
1. “Baby, I am lonely.” Telling the MOYD you’re lonely when he is locked up helplessly in a jail cell will only make him feel insecure. He’ll worry whether or not you will be faithful to him, or even if you’ll be there when he gets out. Not a good feeling.
2. “I am going out to a party tonight with my girlfriends.” Once again, it shows that your life is moving on without him and will make him feel insecure.
3. “My girlfriend said she heard…” When a man is at the lowest and most humiliating point in his life, this is not the time to bring up the “he said/she said” drama. His frustrations could carry over to some unexpecting inmate, which could lead to a fight, riot and people getting killed. It’s really that serious.
4. “My girlfriends and I are at home getting drunk.” Not a good scenario. Getting drunk often leads to other unwarranted behavior that will create negative images and insecurities in your man’s mind.
5. “We need to talk.” This often signals bad news, or even that you are ready to break up.
6. “I am pregnant.” This could be great news, unless it’s by another man. Eek!
7. “I am moving out of state with your child.” This is the ultimate slap in the face to a father who loves his children.
8. “What if you get life in prison?” Stay away from negative thinking. Remember, with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). It would be better to pray privately to God about those types of questions regarding the MOYD. I heard testimony from a man who was facing life and got three years. Because of his faith in God, he would not accept a life sentence, because he knew that God is true to his word. His promises are our armor (Psalms 91:4). I also heard another testimony where a man got double life and was released. All things are possible through God.
9. “I ran into this girl today and she said something about you…” Once again, this is not the time to air dirty laundry. Your man’s mental, spiritual and physical safety is at stake, so temporarily put your pride to the side.
10. Any unnecessary drama. There is nothing more embarrassing than having an argument with your girl while 31-plus other inmates are watching you.
11. “The bail is too high.” Self-explanatory. There is no need to go into a long, drawn-out conversations about the bills and get both him and you upset.
12. “I just got a Facebook message from my ex.” Your man doesn’t want to hear about your ex contacting you while he is sitting in jail.
13. “I cannot make it to your court date.” Going into a courtroom as a defendant is one of the scariest moments in anyone’s life, especially when your freedom is on the line. The unknown can be pretty scary. This is the time he needs your support the most, and for you to say you will not be able to make it will be a huge letdown for his spirit. He needs to keep his spirit high at all times to get the most positive results.