Get Your Partner Toward The Path To Sobriety
Mindset of an addict
An addict is essentially a selfish person in practically every aspect of his life. So when an addict abuses drugs or alcohol, the demonic spirit within him knows that he is harming his family and friends—he lies to himself.
Every addict is stone-cold sober when he makes the decision to go purchase the drug of his choice. So, if by deductive reasoning, he is sober and making decisions without regard to his family, you now have a firsthand look at the power of addiction, the power of drugs and the seriousness of the illness/demonic possession. His problem centers in his thinking. Addiction is when he does harmful things to himself and others, knowingly and repeatedly. Being self-centered is the root of the addict's problem. You have to have a certain amount of selfishness to take a substance, knowing good and well that it is going to hurt yourself, your family, and friends.
Below are some of the most common symptoms of inidivuals who are on drugs:
- Mood swings
- Financial issues
- Weight loss
- Behavior changes
- Changes in daily routine
- Irresponsible behavior
- Strange new friends
- Lack of spending money
- Irritability and restlessness
Addiction is a behavior. It is an act and decision made before taking the substance. He is being selfish because he does not weigh the pros and cons. It is a behavior pattern that he has been practicing for many years. (Understanding if You Can Change a "Bad Boy" into the Man of Your Dreams (MOYD)?) Your job is to usher him towards the information that will help him overcome the addiction, with the help of the accompanying support system. He can overcome the addiction, getting and truly receiving the information into his spirit.
Addicts and alcoholics are the same thing. An addict will put a psychiatrist on the couch. The best way to help an addict overcome his addiction is by seeking the professional help of a former addict. Addiction is a behavioral issue that cannot be corrected by force. Forcing the MOYD may make him relapse. Meet him on the level he's on, with an equivalent response—someone who had the experience of being in the same place, and who overcame the addiction. What makes him an addict is his behavior, not the bottle he drinks from or the drugs he takes. Your job is to help him get to the place where he can identify the problem. Seek groups such as AA, the famous 12-step program founded by Bill Wilson.
Addiction is a mental war within oneself. Using your sixth sense (intuition) will often be necessary. As a rule of thumb, here are 12 ways you can help the MOYD get over a drug or alcohol addiction.
1. Understand that addiction is mental, not physical.
2. Listen with extreme patience, as if you are dealing with a child.
3. Don't let negative outside influences scare you away. Do not listen to people who have no experience in dealing with drug addiction.
4. Keep giving positive encouragement on a daily basis. For example:
a. "I am going to get you healthy."
b. "You are getting more handsome by the day."
c. "Your complexion is coming back."
d. "With God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26)."
5. Do not be so quick to shun him. Instead, keep building trust and encouragement, along with his self-esteem. (The Five Magic Words the Man You're Dating Secretly Wants You to Say) This will also be a physical, mental and spiritual test for you (Matthew 7:12).
6. Understand that recovery will be a 24/7 job for at least a couple of months. It will take a month for the encouraging words to sink in and become of use to his psyche.
7. Be open-minded, because you don’t want to let the monster or demonic spirit in his head to get too big. Once he makes up his mind, he will not be able to hear you and overcome the craving to use drugs or drink.
8. Jump right on the addiction and consistently and positively stay on his back. As it is often referred to in boxing, "Keep him on the (recovery) ropes." Stay on him and do not ease up. Sometimes, you may have to be affirmatively rough on him. He might not like everything you say, but it is part of the recovery. Even when you get over the hump, you will still have to stay on him lightly for up to one year. Love can overcome any challenge. It’s all about being by your man's side at one of the lowest points in his life.
9. It is important that you do not act on your emotions, but use logical reasoning.
10. Do not be embarrassed to seek professional help quickly.
11. Do not allow him to get too comfortable, with too much idle time on his hands. You must keep your man busy. An idle mind is the devil's workshop.
12. Change your environment. Move to a different city, state, or country.
More relationship expert advice:
- The Best Love Advice On YourTango
- The Best Relationship Advice On YourTango
- Relationship Advice: 5 More Things Your Mom Never Told You
This article was originally published at How To Get The Man of Your Dreams . Reprinted with permission from the author.