Pick one or two things that you want to do even if the kids have no interest in them, but schedule these activities as short outings spread out over days rather than solid days of doing activities that the kids won't enjoy. As your kids get older they will be able to go for longer periods of time while waiting for their turn to do the activities that they chose, but as a practical matter most of the time spent on a family vacation will always be more kid-centered than parent-centered.
If you have small children, try to find time to have a glass of wine together once the kids are asleep and enjoy some time just reconnecting and talking. If you have older kids, wake up before them and have that reconnecting time over coffee. Romance while vacationing in tight quarters with kids is likely to be more about hand holding and conversation than sex, but these are very important ways to build intimacy that we often overlook when we have full access to a private bedroom.
When you're stuck and not sure what to do, try to practice the principal of three:
If you and your spouse have different ideas of what you would like to do on vacation, then here are three rules to avoid a vacation disaster.
1. Don't travel too far.
2. Choose a vacation that is moderately priced.
3. Keep it short.
You are better off doing 2 or 3 shorter, moderately priced getaways rather than trying to plan a dream vacation while you are still learning how to negotiate your different vacation personalities. You will create unnecessary pressure to have a "perfect" vacation if you spend a small fortune flying to Europe rather than choosing a destination that you can reach by car.
Remember, you're planning a VACATION. The idea is to make it enjoyable, so no matter where you end up, you have time to relax and recharge. Considering the different facets of your life before you take off will give you a golden opportunity to create a fantastic trip, regardless of your travel destination or plans!