Have you ever thought that improving your relationship with your parents might help you improve your relationship with your spouse and children? Both men and women are surprised to experience the tremendous results and ripple effects on their marriages and their children of improving their relationships with their parents, siblings, in-laws, and others. We are a nation of folks largely cutoff from our parents and families - not only because most of our ancestors were immigrants who left their families to start new lives here - but also because of the current climate of American psychotherapy - a climate that encourges people to "set boundaries" and "keep distance" from "toxic" parents. When we can learn to grow up and relate to parents as adults and not wounded children, the results are significant.
About Miriam Bellamy
I dedicated my post-graduate training and experience to couples counseling work to better serve my clients.
The kind of therapy I practice is solution-focused and centers on the principles of personal responsibility, honesty and self-respect.
My approach is based on the work of Murray Bowen, who is the father of the field of marriage and family counseling. Bowen was a scientist, first and foremost, and he observed the human family to be an ecosystem full of the complex, reciprocal relationships found in the natural world. He understood the automatic spread of anxiety from one individual to another to be a major factor in mental illness.
My approach helps people to respond from the best in them. What is the best in us? It is our ability to step back, settle down, and reach for the humanity within all of us. Being more thoughtful and self-observant is the key—the secret—to unconditional, passionate, satisfying love, as many of my clients can attest to.
On a more personal note, I’ve been married 13 years, I’m a parent to two daughters, and I’m a small business owner—so the journey to create a meaningful life is one that resonates with me. I want you to get the help that you need to find your own meaning in your life and in your relationships, too. Contact me to find out how!
Miriam Bellamy Success Stories
Marriage Counseling Improves Couple's Sex Life
I received this email from a couple who I worked with a few years ago. In their own words, here is their story. (Identities have been changed to protect confidentiality.) more
Bobby and I were thinking of you over the weekend and I decided to send you a note. Our life together has been moving forward on a very positive track. I finally found a new position and left the asshole I was working for. You know sometimes there is just no other word. Okay, egomaniac would be a viable substitute. I now work for the nicest person I could imagine. Very genuine and smart, good leadership skills. Yay for me. But the best news is Bobby has been promoted to a regional position and now has his first office in the regional headquarters in the city, no less. He is so excited and devoted to becoming the best employee they’ve ever had. He’s inspiring me to be better too.
Having made some positive changes in our careers, we have been managing our personal affairs with a better balance. While there have been a few moments when I have had to remember not to trade sex for favors or for honey-do projects, we have both become much better at expressing our desires. Granted Bobby is more expressive than I am but I have opened up in a much healthier way and sex has become so nice. In fact, I really do feel connected to him in a way that nothing else can replace. Right, sex is a good thing! Bobby even says he no longer feels like I put the ‘job’ in blowjob.
And finally, the trigger that sent us to you, the kitchen remodeling project. Not only did we finish that project, but we busted out a wall between the living room and family room for what I call an update and Bobby calls remodeling. And we finished all of that by the middle of December. So two and a half years on the bathroom and two and a half months on the kitchen. YOU are a miracle worker. I do still tell people that our remodeling project cost us $5000 over our actual expenses for marriage counseling. A slight exaggeration, I know, and worth every penny. Had we not gotten stuck on the kitchen, we would have never made it to you. So even our relationship was remodeled in the process.
All kidding aside, we both feel that we had such positive results from our experience. Although we felt like we were “sweating it out” on the sofa in your office, we still employ many of the things we learned there every day. We are very grateful for the guidance and greatly respect your expertise.
All our best.
Bobby and Jenny
P.S. And thanks for the laughs!