Happiness is a state of mind many strive to achieve. How to do it is the question we most often ask.
Happiness comes with self-acceptance and adjusting expectations as they come along in life. Make a decision to be self-disciplined on a consistent basis. Many of us find it challenging to do this consistently. Everyone is at a different point on this continuum depending on their trigger points and unknown situations that may arise.
How, happiness and help are the three ingredients for happy outcomes. Negative feelings indicate we are not happy. How many selfies do you have of your negative feelings? Of course we delete those as soon as possible, but it is not that easy to delete the feelings. Instead of blaming other the emotionally mature thing to do is to ask for help. Parents, loved one, spouse, Pastor, grandparents or good friends may encourage you. If they cannot guide you perhaps it is good to seek professional help for strategies and an understanding of your self-defeating behavior. It may take a few realization moments to shift your usual way of thinking. When that happens you can declare it your personal memorial day, when you sacrificed your familiar way of thinking that killed so many relationships. Your decision to practice the new thought patterns may open up a whole new life.
Selfish and self-less can be placed on a scale of one to ten, one meaning selfish and 10 being self-less. Choose a number where you see yourself on this scale. Then ask a parent, loved one or friend to rate you. With this information you can evaluate yourself and plan how to improve. The movement towards selflessness is the direction of happiness. When you put this in place you will experience more genuine happiness and peace. In the process you will enjoy good things coming your way when you least expect it, making you feel really happy.
Helen Northcott, Ph.D., MA, CCC
RPN Psychotherapist | Your Tango Expert