Never look for an online date when feeling desperate. There are toads out there looking for you!
Another New Year and here you are alone - again.
Who kissed you at midnight?
Oh, that’s right … Uncle Charlie was running around kissing all of the single ladies at that dreaded party. And all you were thinking was Can’t wait - hope he uses mouthwash this year.
And here we are in 2012, and you are still alone.
Wait a sec. There’s that guy on Catch.com. What was his screen name again? He’s been so persistent. You start to think; maybe he’s not that bad.
“Maybe it’s time I give him a chance. Wonder if he’s Online Now?”
Oh, thank God. There he is, and he’s winked at you ... again!
Then, in a cold sweat, you force your fingers to the keyboard:
Dear HardinUAllNight, (I did not make this up; sadly, this toad thought it up all by himself.)
Please forgive my delayed response to your sweet note last month. The holidays were crazy. I would love to grab a drink with you if the offer is still open.
<as you count the calendar days left until the Ball drops in NYC already next year>
How’s tonight for you? I just happen to be free.
My Dearest Janie,
Do you feel like I’ve been peeking into your computer and snooping through your Sent Items? I didn’t have to. I was you a few years back, and I remember that inner battle all too well. And our toad specimen, let’s call him Woody, is indeed directly from my personal diary.
I hate to admit it but, Woody and I did grab that drink on a cold December evening. And while he asked me out for New Year’s Eve on that very first date, he also started reaching into his pocket for his Little Blue Pill before the waitress ever served our first drink. Check Please!
Trust me, Janie, your instincts were dead-on. And before you blame Catch.com for technical difficulties or problems with the Block feature for unwanted profiles, remember that this Toad found you.
You are a strong and beautiful woman, and you deserve to find your Prince Charming. But you don’t have to compromise yourself to find romance. If you find yourself alone this New Year’s Eve, at least it can be a toadless start to 2012 and that ain’t all bad.
If you decide to put yourself first this year and stay out of The Toad Kingdom (the bottom of the online dating bucket) Good for you! Make 2012 a fresh start and start this weekend. Take the evening to celebrate yourself and get ready. Here’s how...
5 Steps for “The Year of You” Celebration
1. Beauty Makeover: Pick up a new lip gloss, and play with hairstyles. Jazz yourself up and be daring with the new look. Have fun with it. You can always wash up and start over. This pampering is just for you
2. Dress up: Put on the outfit you haven’t quite gotten the nerve or the occasion to wear. Take the tags off and shimmy right in. Looks fantastic, right? Now all you need is a single buddy, that trendy new restaraunt and you are set...
3. Dine In: Treat yourself to an extravagant dinner - either take-out or home-cooked. Set a gorgeous table, and play some sexy, croony tunes. (Personally, Sinatra is the best guest to serenade me when I celebrate.) Use that dessert recipe that you’ve been afraid to try. If it bombs, you’re the only one who’ll know. And if it’s fantastic, you don’t have to share.
4. Host a Love-A-Thon: Have a movie marathon starring Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks and John Cusack. Any of their movies are enough to make you believe that there is still a chance for Happily Ever After. Have a single friend? Invite her over and have a giggle-fest.
5. Reinvent Yourself Online: Become a spy - scope out the Online Dating Competition. Search for women in your area who are finding their Prince Charmings and leaving you with the toads.
See which profiles catch your eye and then spend the evening reworking your own profile. Remember - all is fair in love and war, and getting stuck with the toads means War, baby.
Whatever you do, let Woody set his sights somewhere else. Sweetheart, listen to your instincts and just say no.
Ever wonder if your online dating strategy is responsible for attracting all those toads? For online dating tips info and other toad evasion techniques follow Heidi Lee right here at Your Tango.