Beads & Breasts: Mardi Gras In The Toad Kingdom

By

Beads & Breasts: Mardi Gras In The Toad Kingdom
Looking to find love during Mardi Gras in New Orleans? Avoid the 'Toads' and look elsewhere!
  • Tattoo in your brain: In the Toad Kingdom, Frogs may turn into your Prince, but Toads are just warty and gross. Stay alert. If you drink, drink with a buddy who can remind you to keep your shirt on.
  • The dreaded Toad will buy you shot after shot and be drooling at the silhouette of your breasts under that silk chemise hoping for a peek later on. The toads will show all of the interest you’ve ever dreamed of a man showing in you. The Toad will make you feel like the most fascinating women in the room as long as he thinks you will lift your shirt for him later.
  • This Toad may even ask for your phone number or to continue your evening somewhere alone. This invitation is driven by your cup size and the amount of bounce in your boobs not in the fact that you have a wonderful mind and a scintillating personality.
  • How would a Frog act? Frogs tend to watch from the periphery. They know there are enough foolish women who will play this game without their encouragement. They will hold their beers, point, poke fun and yes maybe even take photos with their cell phone, but it is unlikely a Prince Charming in Frog clothing would incite the nakedness himself. 5 Ways To Recognize Your Prince Charming
  • Frogs will enjoy the boob baring with a blush. Who can blame them? Some will probably be secretly grateful to their Toad brothers for making the magic happen, but a Frog worth his salt will never steal more than a glance.

Truth is, Mardi Gras is not the night to look for love. Not in New Orleans, not in Green Bay, WI or anywhere! Now, I am not suggesting you skip the party. On the contrary, it is a great chance to see and study Toads in action. Focus on how the men are acting. See if you can spot men who are not slobbering over the silliness.

Ladies, everyone is guilty of misguided decisions at times and I know some will fall. Expecting tipsy women to keep their tops on would be as naive as believing the frogs would carry blindfolds to avoid a couple of 38 Ds staring them in the face. Whatever you decide, just know the motives of the men who buy you a drink when you go out to party, stick to a two drink maximum and don’t do anything you’d regret going viral on YouTube this season. Getting Over 4 Excuses To Post A Great Picture Online

To Read Great Sex Advice:

Wish you had a mouth watering online dating profile? You can! Check out my newest Ebook:  How To Toad-Proof Your Online Dating Profile

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular