If you and your partner have grown apart over the years and the disconnection/tension are palpable one of the best and most effective ways to save your relationship is to become friends with your guy again! Think about it: the basis of any good relationship is a strong friendship. So if you and your guy are having relationship problems, are barely talking, and you don’t really do things together any more, your first step toward saving your relationship should be to rekindle your friendship. These four tips will help you to start remembering why you liked each other in the first place.
Tip #1: Focus on the things he does right.
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In any long-term relationship, it’s easy to focus on all the things your guy does wrong, and ignore the things he does right. Unfortunately, this habit doesn’t make for a happy or fulfilling relationship. Instead of focusing on his mistakes, praise your guy’s ability to make you happy. Even if he doesn’t do too many sweet things anymore, thank him for the things he did in the past. Say something like:
“I was just remembering how much I loved it when you made me breakfast in bed for my birthday two years ago. Your caring spirit is one of the reasons why I fell in love with you”
Don’t insinuate that he should start bringing you breakfast in bed again, just acknowledge that there is good in him, and that you appreciate that goodness.
Tip #2: Talk about the things he’s interested in.
Okay, so you’re not crazy about poker, but your guy is. Even though it will probably feel forced, ask him questions about the game he played last night, or the tournament he has coming up. Ask him what his favorite part about the game is, and how he learned to be so good at reading people. Start a dialogue about the things he cares about to show him you’re still interested in what he has to say.
Tip #3: Go out together with a group of friends.
Arrange double dates, or attend parties together, so you can see your guy through other people’s eyes. Note how charming he is when he tells a funny work story, and how sexy it is when he orders a round of drinks for the table. On the car ride home, tell him how sexy it is when he (fill in the blank) when you’re out with friends. Trust me: it will make him feel amazing, and he’ll slowly start to remember that he feels amazing whenever he is with you.
Tip #4: Go on an “easy” date together.
An example of an “easy” date is going to the movies together. It’s an activity that the two of you can do together, where there’s very little risk of having a difficult conversation. And don’t feel bad that this is where your relationship is right now; just acknowledge this little rough patch as one small part of your relationship’s journey.
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When you look at these four tips to overcome your relationship problems you’ll find that some are easier to follow than others. Give each one a try and remember that it might not take the first time so don’t get discouraged. Use these tips on a regular basis and you’ll notice that over time you’ll rekindle your friendship and ultimately save your relationship for the long haul.