In the Picture Perfect Relationship, everything looks amazing – from the outside. You and your partner go on awesome vacations and host everyone’s favorite dinner parties, but once you’re alone you don’t touch or look at each other anymore. Neither of you are truly happy or fulfilled, but you also aren’t willing to address the disconnection. Instead, you each just stick to your routines and pray that the rift between you magically repairs itself.
If this sounds like your relationship, know that it’s entirely fixable, but you’re going to have to experience a major shift in your priorities. You have to truly understand that no matter what you achieve in life, it’s not going to matter if you’re alone and miserable. In addition to kicking butt at work, caring for the kids, and planning your next vacation, you must work on your relationship.
You can start by genuinely making your guy a priority again. For example, when he asks you a question, put your book or phone down and look at him. Even if you’ve been together for 20 years and you’re pretty sick of looking at him in general, do it anyway! Make eye contact, answer his question, smile, and be present. I promise you: this is one small step that goes a long, long way.
Next, figure out what you two still like to do together. Even if it’s something small like watching a particular TV show in bed, make sure you do it regularly! You could even place your head on his shoulder while you watch, instead of staying far away on your side of the bed. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but do it anyway!
You could also try developing a new routine together, like holding hands while you fall asleep, or joining him on his morning bike rides. Come up with novel date ideas, like taking a drive along the coast, or meeting for a drink after his golf game. Be interested in your man again. Make him feel special. Show him you still see him, and he’ll start to reciprocate.