In the Green Eyed Monster Relationship your motto is “Guilty until proven innocent”! You don’t trust your man as far as you can throw him, and you make that fact known. You constantly cyber stalk him, check his phone, and compare yourself to the other women in his life. In response to your jealous girlfriend act, he has stopped including you in his plans altogether, and sometimes he lies about who he’s hanging out with to prevent you from flipping out. Although he still cares about you deep down, your jealousy has pushed him so far away that he no longer feels like he can be himself in your presence.
If this sounds like your relationship, know that your jealousy is causing a giant rift between you and your man. By constantly viewing him as the enemy, you’re driving him away, and encouraging him to do the one thing you fear most: leave.
The good news is, you can fix the Green Eyed Monster Relationship, but you’re going to have to look inward and deal with your issues. To get started, you need to understand that jealousy is a mask for insecurity. Oftentimes, women who are hyper jealous also have a strong need to control other areas of their lives as well, and display a general lack of trust in the universe. In order to overcome your jealousy, you need to first deal with your deeper insecurity and trust issues.
In order to do this, you need to fall in love with yourself! If there’s anyone in your life who brings you down or hurts you on a regular basis, eliminate him or her immediately. In the life of a woman who loves herself, there’s no room for a Negative Nancy!
Next, get to work building your confidence and self-esteem. Remind yourself daily of all your good qualities, and stop any negative self-talk you have going on in your mind. Also, volunteering is a great way to build confidence and self-love. Doing something selfless for another person connects you to your deep goodness within, and that will change the way you see yourself.
Changing your jealous ways won’t happen overnight, but once you start to love yourself and build confidence, you’ll be able to see your man through a clear and objective lens. Instead of always assuming he’s maliciously trying to cheat on you, you’ll know in your heart that he’s not going anywhere, because you’re an amazing woman of value and he’s lucky to have you in his life.
This article was originally published at Make Up or Break Up. Reprinted with permission from the author.