If you want your night to go from hot to not, play one of these songs.
Music is a great backdrop for sex. After all, it (slightly) muffles the sounds of hanky panky, changes up the tempo and sets the mood for your shenanigans.
If any of them happen to reside in your music library, you should probably avoid shuffling your playlist.
- "Cotton-Eyed Joe" by Rednex
This line dancing song may be fun when you're drunk at the country bar, but it is unacceptable for you to listen to it on your own, especially when the last thing you want to do in the moment is get on your feet.
If this comes on when you're in the middle of things, forget knocking boots with your partner. You'll be asking them, "Where did you go?"
- "Smells like Nirvana" and anything else by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Not everyone can appreciate satire, especially when things get hot and heavy.
You may be tempted to share this "improvement" on a classic song with your lover, but chances are they would prefer if both you and Al would shut up.
It's OK to be geeky. It's not OK to assault the ears of someone you like with the polka rendition of "Poker Face."
- "Whip It" by Devo
With this, you will not only show your partner you have a thing for weird '80s songs, but it will also make you seem like you're itching for some BDSM.
"You will never live it down unless you" don't play this tune. Better to avoid an awkward conversation mid-shenanigans about whips and chains and whether or not you're into that sort of thing.
- "(You're) Having My Baby" by Paul Anka and Odia Coates
Assuming you even kind of like your bed companion, this song is absolutely not OK to have playing when you're getting it on.
This is not the time to bring up "the seed inside ya" or any of the other situationally inappropriate lines in these lyrics.
Should this play, you won't be able to get anywhere close to baby making for a long, long time.
- "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf
The beginning of this song may trick you into thinking it's a good fit for sexy times, but you'd be wrong.
About half way into the tune, you'll be "praying for the end of time." The crazy teenage shenanigans may have been pretty hot, but the following five and a half minutes of bitterness are really not.
Keep this song far away from your sex life.
- "Barbie Girl" by Aqua
"Do you wanna go for a ride?" You probably do, but it's just not gonna happen with these lyrics blasting in the background.
No one wants to question whether their partner is old enough to consent—or if they still play with dollies.
Plus, you can't get creepier than the line, "You can touch, you can play, if you say, 'I'm always yours.'"
- "Achy Breaky Heart" by Billy Ray Cyrus
It's preferable if you don't tell anyone you listen to this song, especially when you're about to get a little wild and crazy.
Most people—including your partner—are turned off by mullets and twangy songs of lost love.
You can tell your lips to tell your fingertips to turn off this song and put on something both more appropriate and less nauseating.
- "Friday" and anything else by Rebecca Black
Infamous as it is, there isn't really a good time to break this bad boy out.
Your lover will probably not appreciate being told how much they've "gotta get down," particularly when those words are being auto-crooned by a preteen Youtube sensation.
If you're lookin' forward to some loving, keep this one far, far away from your sensual playlist.
- "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion
Getting down and dirty should not be accompanied with such over-the-top lines as, "You are safe in my heart."
Even if your partner likes you to whisper sweet nothings to them, this sap crosses the line.
Plus, the last thing you want to do is make them think back to the Titanic—if you do, you'll make like the ship and sink your chances of getting lucky.
- "How You Remind Me" and anything else by Nickelback
It's not a good sign if you're screaming inside your head, "Are we having fun yet?" If you're actually wondering, the answer is probably no.
Remember everybody loves to hate Nickelback, and you really don't want to associate that disdain with your lovemaking abilities.
Leave this band to be your guilty pleasure, not a part of your sexual pleasure.