The Nice Guy Curse: Why Being Too Nice Is Unattractive

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The Nice Guy Curse: Why Being Too Nice Is Unattractive
Is it possible to be too nice? What every man needs to know about the heart and mind of women.


This is a man whose life is now wrapped around her very existence. He becomes an all-consuming, overbearing, smootherer whose sole purpose is to please his woman. He becomes overly sensitive to her moods and does everything possible to make her happy.  In essence, he’s constantly trying to win her love, approval and validation. 

No woman is going to be happy with a guy that makes her the center of his universe and is constantly orbiting around her. Some women may like the thought of this but when it actually happens they get bored and leave. The reason for this is because it ends up killing that feeling of ATTRACTION which is the source of all chemistry.

If you’re still not convinced, consider the love/hate relationship between Steve Urkel and Laura Winslow from the American pastime television show ‘Family Matters’. Steve’s worshipful disposition towards Laura represented an unhealthy obsession which was more unattractive than his apparent nerdy and goofy aura. Every day, Laura was met with flowers, gifts, compliments, and other pleasantries which were given out of desperation rather than appreciation. Do you see the difference?  No matter how much Steve did for Laura, he was never considered a potential love interest. Instead, he was reduced to the category of a groupie.

Interestingly, when Steve transformed into Stephan, Laura’s reaction to him dramatically changed. His smooth, confident, secure and self-interested personality won her over. So, is it possible to be too nice, too accommodating, and too wrapped up in a person? Absolutely! While it is true that all women want and deserve to be loved, cherished, respected and cared for, what they do not want is a man who’s very identity, decisions and life’s motivation are molded by his desire to please a woman.

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