Hanna Perlberger (BCC,JD,RCS)
There’s a saying: “You can live by default or you can live by design. Imagine your life five years from now with no change. The same struggles and challenges, the same issues, the same arguments – unresolved. You could think there is something wrong, and end the relationship, or you could get resigned and settle in for an endurance test. This is living by default.
I am passionate about helping people live by design. And so I work with individuals and couples who are tired of sabotaging themselves, who want to be free of their unhealthy habits and want to be a success in their life and relationships.
You often hear the expression that a relationship is where "me become we". But unless you have a good relationship with yourself, your chance for having fabulous relationships with others is not great. It's simply not true that success breeds happiness - it's the other way around. When you can be whole and loving with yourself, you can be whole and loving with others. Imagine working towards your highest levels of well-being, and then putting that intentionality into your relationship. That's how you create rich and juicy relationships that are bursting with vitality.
What's my story? As a former divorce lawyer, I saw first-hand the destruction that breakups caused and the unhappiness that people endured. Often this wasn’t because they were wrong for each other, but because they lacked the tools to turn things around or had simply given up. I’ve been there too; my first marriage ended in divorce. Then, 20 years ago, I married a man with whom I’ve created a passionate, joyful, and deeply satisfying partnership. I wanted others to have this too. So now my work is in helping good people become great partners.
My coaching is grounded in Positive Psychology and my approach is holistic. I believe that marriage is a sacred path, and so my sweet spot is where spirituality, wellness, and supporting others intersect. With certifications in Holistic Wellness, Relationship Coaching, and Positive Psychology, I bring together many of the latest developments in biology, neurology, and psychology, which have clearly demonstrated the mind-body connection and proven that our total well-being must incorporate all dimensions of our lives.
Whether it’s a specific relationship issue you are facing, or you want to attain a higher level of well-being in any or all of the dimensions of your life, together we’ll uncover your strengths and come up with a strategy that works best for you - and will also help you make the best of you.
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
I was a divorce lawyer for over 20 years, when I saw a quote from Reb Nachman: "If you have the power to destroy, you have the power to build." As a lawyer, I was not destroying lives and as a coach I am not actually building them either. But people can destroy their own lives as well as build them, and I would much rather facilitate people in building happy and healthy marriages than facilitate the destruction of their families.
As Winston Churchill (yes, Churchill) said, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life from what we give." While it certainly had its moments of sweet justice, for the most part being a lawyer was making a living, and not the calling I once thought it would be.
And so now my life is about using my experience as a divorce lawyer, my skills as a coach, and my studies in positive psychology to help good people become great partners, to help motivated people live well and to love exceptionally well.
And for another thing, my own first marriage ended in divorce. My parents were divorced (several times over) and when I met my fiancé, he was also divorced. I just assumed marriage had a shelf life of ten years max. It’s been 21 years now, and together, my husband and I have built and sustained a passionate, joyful, and deeply satisfying partnership. We did it and so can you.
There is a Jewish expression, “tikkun olam” which means “repairing the world”. Here’s my big dream – to transform the planet, one person, and one relationship at a time. You know the phrase: “Be the change you want to see”. When you work to repair yourself and your relationships, you are playing an active role towards global transformation. Talk about building. Now how cool is that!
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