Earlier in our series, you discovered how to transcend divorce baggage that alienates former spouses and take 3-steps to a passionate life. Now you fall in love and create passionate relationships in Part 3 highlights of my conversation for A Lasting Love with Janet Bray Attwood.
Janet is co-author of NY Times bestselling book, The Passion Test-Discovering Your Effortless Path To Your Destiny. She’s helped millions find the best path to the life you love.
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Hadley: We’ve said that you need to fall in love with your vision for a dream life, because emotion is the fuel that propels you to your dreams. No emotion, no blastoff to your dream life. How do we fall in love now?
Janet: The Passion Test is a tool to build self love. In terms of a relationship, the world is as you are. When you’re coming from a happy, loving place, the relationship reflects that.
Every time you say YES to your passions that you truly love, you grow naturally in space of self love. By saying YES to what you’re most passionate about and allowing yourself to live your passions full out, what can be more fulfilling in life?
Hadley: How do you find your top passions?
Janet: When you take The Passion Test, your first step is to do the elimination process which begins with the question, “When my life is ideal, I am ...” You fill in the blank. Think about different areas of life that are important to you.
Make a list, like your health, relationships, career, spirituality, your fun, your environment where you live. Put on Mickey Mouse ears, which give you the childlike mind to know all possibilities exist.
Make a list of 10-20 passions. If you were living those, every time you think of it your heart will sing.
Your first step to falling in love is to ask yourself, “What is it that I care about? What is it that lights my fire?”
It’s obvious that you write down what you care about most, because everything is energy. If you write down something luke warm, you have a luke-warm experience with it. But if you write down something that if you were doing it, it would make your day, it gets you out of bed in the morning. You know you’re there.
The feeling level is everything. So when you write your passions, use words that make you feel good as well, excited, expanded, enthusiastic, joyful. These words express your heart feeling, Passions come comes from the heart, not the head.
Then use the elimination process to come up with your top five passions and take action on them.
Hadley: How do couples use this tool to sustain passion?
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Janet: Couples take passion test together. If you can’t rattle off each others' top five passions, you’re missing a tool to bond you and bring you closer together. When you know your partner’s there to support you in the things you love the most, what affect does it have on you? It has incredibly positive, beautiful affect on each other.
Hadley: How do dating singles use passion to choose a great love match?