Passion Test's Janet Bray Attwood reveals how she and Chris avoided divorce baggage,and you can too.
Get the keys that have helped millions unlock the door to an exciting, passionate life and also transcend typical baggage of divorce in Part 1 highlights of my radio conversation for A Lasting Love with Janet Bray Attwood.
Janet is the NY Times Bestselling Co-Author of The Passion Test - Discovering the Effortless Path To Your Destiny. She’s helped millions of people find the easy, exciting path to the life you love.
Hadley: Passion is the key to your destiny. Let’s help people who want even more love and excitement in life. Let’s help people go from where you are now to where you want to be, reaching your peak of passion, pleasure and performance in life and love.
When you embark on any new journey, you need a new map to guide you. Your new map is The Passion Test. It’s helped millions of people find the effortless path to an exciting, fun, fulfilling destiny. Janet, tell us how you were guided to find an effortless path to your own destiny during an early trip to India.
Janet: It guided me to one of my paths, which was to interview masters from all over the world. In The Passion Test, we say that when you’re clear about what you choose to show up in your life, it will--and only to the extent that you’re clear. That was something I got really super clear on, because it was a great love of mine, as I went to India over five times.
Hadley: Aren’t you in India now?
Janet: Right now, I’m in Germany with Chris Atwood, my co-author of The Passion Test. He’s also my ex husband, my best friend and my business partner. I’m staying his wife, his wife’s mother and their two daughters. I’m their god mother.
Hadley: It’s extraordinary how you and Chris could go through a divorce, and you end up as loving, friendly business partners, as godmother to your former husband’s children and a friend to his wife. How did you make that happen?
Janet: The world is as you are. The world will reflect back to you how you are to yourself. Both Chris and I have practiced Transcendental Meditation for many years. That really helped with transition of getting a divorce. We didn’t go to war with each other. We just realized that the relationship, as we knew it, was over.
We also knew that it was insane for people who’d fallen in love, who’d said, “I love you forever” and then, just because something goes awry, they decide they can’t see each other again and become mortal enemies. Chris and I found that insane.
Here’s someone you loved more than anyone in the world. Just because they didn’t do things your way or you didn’t do it their way, you think you can’t be in each other’s world. We thought, “How sad is that.” Chris and I also are practitioners of the work of Byron Katie.
Hadley: I love her “turnaround procedure.”
Janet. It’s a process to undo limiting beliefs. Byron Katie says that when you’re attached to how things should be instead of how things are, you’ll feel one of three things: pain, separation and suffering.
Chris and I are huge advocates of consciously loving what is. Then you don’t let concepts ruin your world. It’s a concept that an ex wife can’t be best friends with a new wife. When we allow these concepts to take over our world, then our world becomes very small and very limited.
Byron Katie says that until you can say to a loved one who’s walking out the door, “Honey, let me help you pack your bags,” you aren’t there yet.
Love is unconditional, when you allow someone to walk the path they need to walk.
Hadley: You make it sound easy, but that was the hardest journey I ever made--to reach the point I could wish my husband well after he moved on.
Janet: If you think about it, it’s harder to hold on to your pain, separation, and stories about what others have done to you.
Hadley: That pain can be fatal, if you don't release it.
Janet: So you walk from the place where there are no victims here. You create your reality. See every moment is a gift. That sounds trite but true. The Universe is set up that every moment is to serve you in some form.
No one said it would be easy. Yet it's a lot harder to not be that loving presence and hold on to that pain. You can release it, and do it in a way that you’re coming from your gut, "I want for you what you want for you." Till you get to that place, it’s more painful than not.
Hadley: I agree. And give thanks to your greatest teachers for giving you the lessons you needed to learn in that moment. To see it with new eyes.
Janet: And use new tools, like work of Byron Katie, to undo limiting beliefs that will change your life in minutes. Using the passion test is a tool. The reason you wake up unsatisfied with your life is you aren’t making choices about doing your own inner work, because the world is as you are. If you are love inside, you attract love.
Everyone is a reflection of where we are in this moment. So dive deep in crevices of soul and forgive, surrender, appreciate and undo, letting go of concepts that create terrorism in the mind.
Hadley: You’re an inspiration to all. How do we find our path to an exciting, passionate life?
Find out in Part 2 highlights of my radio conversation with Janet Bray Attwood for A Lasting Love.
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