ProConnect

Love Secret of Harmony and Happiness

By

Love Secret of Harmony and Happiness
Talking to a date - How does your choice of words promote or defeat romance and love?

What if you could change the mood and health of a dating or long-term relationship by the words you use to describe it?

You can–if you expand on the logic and findings in a recent linguistic study by Doctors Peter S. Dodds and Christopher M. Danforth at the University of Vermont.

More from YourTango: Does Marriage Kill Sex and Romance?

The New York Times reported that this pair of Vermont statisticians analyzed song lyrics, speeches and blog content to evaluate our mass psychology and national well being.

They studied 232,574 songs written by 20,025 artists between 1960 and 2007.

They evaluated the emotional content in 2.3 million blog posts from 2005 to 2009.

They analyzed State of the Union speeches going back to George Washington and rated the emotional charge of the words used.

What are the researchers’ findings?

What we sing and say reveal clues to our well being as individuals and as a society. While analyzing the emotional content of blogs by the age of the blogger, they found a curious pattern. Teenagers blog posts used and abundance of words like “sick”, “hate” and “stupid.”

With advancing age, the tone of bloggers’ word choices softened gradually, rising to a plateau of well being in ages 50s and 60s until the word “sick” reappears in the 70s.

Dr. Dodds says the bloggers’ patterns may not represent all of society, but their patterns are pronounced.

As for popular music, the Vermont researchers found that the emotional pattern of lyrics within each musical genre remained stable throughout the 50-year period they studied. But the overall trend turned downward as recent artists explored darker themes more explicitly than their predecessors in the 1960s.

The low point, lyric wise, was 2003. Coincidentally, that was the year Darkthrone released its album, “Hate Them.”

How can you use these findings to increase harmony, happiness and romance in your intimate relationship?

I often tell my community, “What you see will be, when you take correct action.”

Doesn’t that also apply to what you say to and about your romantic partner?

A universal law states that what you focus on expands. When you see strengths, you strengthen them and flaws lose power and importance. Same thing happens when you speak (or sing) about the strengths, wonderful emotions and qualities in your romantic partner.

What words are you using to describe your special date or mate?

Critical, judgmental, disappointing, annoying? Or inspiring, loving, tender, fun?

More from YourTango: How Newlyweds Build An Enchanting Marriage - Love Toolkit

Do you see how shifting your focus and your words may enhance how you relate to a date or mate? Will you use this secret to bring out the best in each other and promote harmony and happiness?


And if you're single and dating to find love, I guide your love quest with advice like this and help you choose your best match in TribeOfSingles Dating Site where great singles find great love. Take a FREE look around as my guest. Let me help you find love now.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Faith

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS