Dating Sabotage-Getting Hooked in Shenpa Causes Breakups

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Dating Sabotage-Getting Hooked in Shenpa Causes Breakups
Tired of your short love stories? Get unhooked from habits that cause impulsive breakups.

Pay attention to moments when you start feeling insecure because your romantic partner isn’t in to you, or you get afraid they may be leaving you.  Then imagine yourself soaring up to a bird’s eye view of your situation.  From your lofty perch, do this:

*  Observe your fears or wounded feelings that arise when your partner behaves like this, without judgement. 
*  Be fascinated by how their simple action can trigger such a strong response in you. 
*  Feel love for that fearful part of you, just like a parent loves a vulnerable child.
*  Imagine what your partner may be going through to make them behave this way. 
*  Consider if they have issues at work, challenges with their health, family, or finances 
*  Consider if they may need your compassion, tenderness or a little extra support to get through this
*  Consider if their distracted behavior may be all about them, and nothing about you
*  Decide not to leap to conclusions about what motivates their behavior, without discussing your concerns calmly. 
*  Invite them to discuss any concerns you have about each other.

What if they're not open to this discussion?

It shows you they’re not on your love wavelength. Unless that changes, they may not be a compatible match long term.

And if they are open to this discussion, how do you make it a win-win connection?

See if you each will agree to identify and avoid behaviors that trigger fearful insecurities, and choose better behaviors that bring out your best.

Once you uncover your unconscious shenpa hot buttons, you can be thankful they showed you which old wounds, fears, doubts, limiting beliefs or habits were sabotaging love and marriage.  Now you consciously choose new love habits of happy couples to create a life and relationship you love. 

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This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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