Mr. Impossible: Is It Narcissism or ADHD?


Mr. Impossible: Is It Narcissism or ADHD?
What if your ex isn't a narcissist, a compulsive liar or a sociopath? What if he's just got ADHD?
  •     Make an appointment if you need to negotiate anything. Setting up some kind of structure helps with many ADHD problems.
  •     Write down any talking points on an index card and refer back to it continually during the negotiation. This will keep the conversation on track, and cut down on miscommunication.
  •     Don't act like a mean, angry elementary school teacher. He had a lot of that growing up, and it triggers even worse behavior. Avoid verbally rejecting him, judging him or calling him names.
  •     Express gratitude for something--even something small. This will come as such a welcome surprise, you're much more likely to get what you need from the negotiation.
  •     Encourage his relationships with his children--relationships are difficult enough for people with ADHD, it's best not to put up more barriers. It's in your best interest for your children to get what they need and want from their father.

If you're starting to wonder if your ex might have undiagnosed ADHD, look at his children. The condition is extremely heritable, so if any of his children have it, chances are he has it too.

If you do have children with him, you'll be negotiating with him for years to come, so learning about ADHD and how it might be contributing to any problems is a good idea. If you're experiencing the turmoil of a custody battle, or any other legal problems with him, you should consider scheduling an appointment with a skilled ADHD and relationship coach. A professional can help you change the story you're telling yourself about his bad behavior, which might get you both more of what you want.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Hadley Earabino

Life Coach

Hadley Earabino, Certified Life Coach & Sex Therapist
TheLoveLifeCoach | |

Location: Decatur, GA
Credentials: BA, CLC
Other Articles/News by Hadley Earabino:

How To Have A Better Breakup (It's Possible!)


Breakups are painful — there's no way around that. But there's one sure-fire way to make your breakup even more difficult, and that's trying not to have one when you are. Sound counter-intuitive? Many people deal with a heartbreak by pretending it doesn't exist. That only serves to sweep feelings under the rug, and doesn't allow us to ... Read more

Dating Tips For Women Over 40: Finding Success In Love


I asked Lisa Clampitt, co-founder and owner of The Matchmaking Institute, a professional matchmakers trade association based in New York City, for some dating tips for my female clients over 40 who are getting ready to jump back into the dating world. I'm a life coach in Atlanta, so the first thing she suggested was to contact Sarah Kathryn Smith, who ... Read more

How Google Calendar Saved My Marriage


I was one rejection away from asking my husband if he'd like to change our Facebook status to "lifelong roommates." But thankfully, Google calendar swooped in with its alarms, sharing functions and color-coded reminders, and saved us. Our new solution? We have newly scheduled weekly marriage appointments, and it has made such a difference in our ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular