He smiled, “Sure.”
I did a double-take. Sure! That’s it! You mean to tell me I’ve spend all these months agonizing over this and that’s all you have to say!
But it worked! Not only that, that request gave me permission to gently remind Terry of our agreement the few times he forgot later on.
So, the next time you are either in a conflict and/or have needs not being met in a relationship, your first obligation is to simply ask in a respectful way for what you need. In preparation, answer these questions:
1. What need of yours is not being met?
2. What is the impact of that need not being met?
3. What do you need differently?
4. What would that look like?
Now put this in the form of a request, making sure you include how the other person will benefit by this as well.