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How To Fall Back In Love With Your Wife

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How To Fall Back In Love With Your Wife
Love

What to do when her little quirks become major annoyances.

Her farts used to be cute...now they just stink.

Remember when you first fell in love with your lover? How everything about her was almost too sweet and adorable to believe?

But now, some time has passed and you don’t think things are quite as sweet anymore. Those little quirks that were once so adorable — at the very least, tolerable— are now a flat-out annoying pain in the ass. Now, you’re thinking that things stink.

And stink enough that you’re wondering what to do about it.

Here’s a reality check for you. Relationships don’t start smelling bad all of a sudden. It happens by repetition, oversight, forgetfulness, busy-ness, laziness, fatigue, apathy, self-centeredness, and essentially taking one another for granted.

Yup, you have a part in this too because it’s part of the owning-it-so-we-can-do-something-about-it process.

So why is it that all those ‘little things’ become such major annoyances, especially when you truly loved the quirk that you’re now so annoyed by? There are a few reasons why.

But, here are 3 ways you can fall in love with your wife again and save your marriage:

1. Change your focus.

In the beginning, this person was satisfying needs that had your focus. Let me put that another way. You had your focus on how she satisfies your needs.

Catch my drift? Emphasis on you. And you were zeroing in on all the little things she did that accomplished that. That's the way people fall in love — little things become big things.

Now that those needs have been met, the behaviors that once so endearingly helped to accomplish that feat may not seem so necessary anymore or endearing. After all, you've moved on to different needs, shouldn't she move on to different ways of meeting them?

Perhaps it's time to revisit the things you take for granted. The fact that someone loves you enough to even care that your needs (and desires) get met — and realize they are as much a gift as they always were.

Perhaps she’s getting a little disgusted, living with your flabby gratitude muscle? Try exercising it and see if you can bring sexy back.

2. Look at her like a reflection.

Always. That's what life is. That's what everyone in it is. (And you thought those carnival mirrors were freaky!)

When you look in the mirror at yourself, do you do it with the same critical eye that you use to judge your beloved? Do you see things you haven't changed for far too long?

Perhaps those things weren't so important in the beginning because you had bigger fish to fry at the time. But now, they could be stinking up your relationship for her.

Mirror, mirror on the wall…

3. Remember that you are both always evolving.

Your priorities change as you grow...and so do hers. It's amazing that any relationship survives.

The potential for two people to veer off into completely different directions is always there, just waiting for a couple to be caught sleeping on the job.

In one way or another, communication is always at the heart of any solution, no matter what the problem is. And intention is always at the heart of communication.

An open conversation that begins by acknowledging her for her growth and asking how you can be more attractive to the ‘new her’ will open the door to the Law of Reciprocity.

As she feels safe and understood in the conversation, she’ll naturally ask you how she can be more attractive to the ‘new you.’

Gandhi's commandment, "Be the change you wish to see in the world," begins with your lover because, after all, they are your world.

Love on, my friends.

 

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