How To Practice Forgiveness For A Healthier Life


Personal Development Coach Advice: How To Practice Forgiveness
Two mindful methods bring peace to your life.

As you feel finished with your grudge against each one, put both hands over your heart and say one of the following affirmative statements follwed by three deep breaths. Once you feel at peace, move on to the next one on your list.

Even though I have not been able to forgive you for ____________, what happened is over and I can't go back in time and relive it the way I wish it had happened. I am choosing to let it be history and get on with my life.

Even though I have not been able to forgive you for ____________, what happened is over and I can't go back in time and relive it the way I wish it had happened. It is over and I am ready to allow a scar to form over that memory. So although I remember it, I feel no pain or anger about it.

Here's an example of the power of forgiveness: after Jill released her former husband because he hadn't paid child support for five years, she felt renewed. A week later, he called and told her that conditions were suddenly improving in his life. She explained that she had just let go of her anger toward him. He said, "Your hold on me was very great!" He also began to pay child support.

Your final task is for you to forgive yourself. Write down all your misdemeanors. What are your major faults or sins? Have you ever noticed that in our society, even murderers can get out of prison on parole after serving their sentence? Yet you may believe that you have committed such awful crimes against others you deserve lifelong purgatory! Look at your list of offenses toward yourself and others.

Think of the person you love most in the world. If this were his or her list, could you forgive him or her? Make a special time for your personal forgiveness ceremony. Use the two methods you have just learned to go through your list. For each item say:

Even though ___________(name) is unwilling to forgive me for ___________ and I don't blame him or her for holding a grudge against me, I am ready to apologize and to forgive myself for my behavior.

After you have addressed each of your wrongdoings, read each item on your list and announce out loud that you forgive yourself. In the following days you may notice that you feel lessed stress and more at peace.

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Article contributed by

Gloria Arenson

Marriage and Family Therapist

Gloria Arenson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Diplomate in Comprehensive Energy Psychology and author of 7 books. She is passionate about helping people help themselves to be free of negative emotions and compulsive behaviors.

Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Credentials: DCEP, EFT-ADV, MFT, MS
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