Why Affirmations Can Help You Get What You Want


Life Coach: Why Affirmations Work
Eliminate negative beliefs and program your unconscious to attract health, wealth and happiness.

An affirmation is a way to program your unconscious mind to attract happiness, success, love, money or other positive goals. Your unconscious mind is like the Genie of the magic lamp. When Aladdin rubbed the magic lamp, the Genie appeared and granted him whatever he wanted. The unconscious mind is like that Genie; it fulfills your commands, positive or negative. 

We all feed positive and healthy commands into our unconscious all the time without realizing it. If you decide that you need a new pair of shoes, you will find yourself looking into store windows, reading the ads in the paper for shoe sales, and thinking about the style, color and price. You don't doubt that you will find the right shoes because you have purchased many pairs before and know that you deserve these shoes. This same thinking pattern can work for you about health, relationships, happiness and anything else you try it on.

Although the word affirm means to declare positively, sometimes you may be declaring a negative view of yourself in a positive way. For instance, when you put yourself down or doubt your positive traits. Do you say things like, "I always lose things," "I'm terrible in math," "I have a tin ear," or "I can lose weight but I just can't keep it off"? These are examples of affirming the negative.

If you are like some of my clients who complain that their affirmations aren't working, this is how to uncover your unconscious self-sabotage and experience success. Begin with a simple positive statement. Even a proverb or a prayer will fit the bill. It has to be something that makes you feel good and gives you a feeling of anticipation. Write it down 10 times or say it out loud to yourself 10 times at least once a day. Make your self-affirmations a daily habit. Here are some examples of affirmations that others have focused on:

  • I deserve a wonderful (job, mate, home, car) that is perfect for me.
  • I am lovable and capable.
  • I am worthy of having a healthy body now.
  • I can become free of the bondage of food/alcohol/spending/procrastinating.
  • New and loving friends are entering my life now.
  • It is possible for me to overcome my fear of flying.
  • I deserve the very best.

When an affirmation seems to stall, and you aren't reaching your goals, you may be holding unconscious negative beliefs that are stopping you. Practice this simple exercise to pinpoint and eliminate the hidden obstruction that is keeping you from achieving your objective.

Step 1. Write or type your chosen affirmation and say it out loud. For example: "It's OK for me to let go of expecting myself to be perfect in everything I do."

Step 2. Immediately write the first negative thought or rebuttal that pops into your head. Don't stop to edit your thought! What is your Inner Critic telling you in rebuttal? For example: "No, it isn't, because if I am not perfect I will feel ashamed." After you record the unkind message from your nasty critic, say the original positive affirmation out loud again and wait for the next barrage. Write down each negative thought. Keep this up until you have run out of reasons why you shouldn't give yourself permission to believe the positive and know you deserve to manifest it.

Here is what my client Jennifer wrote:

Affirmation: I am open to love now and welcome my perfect mate.
Yes, but: I often reject the love that comes to me because I don't deserve love.

Affirmation: I am open to love now and welcome my perfect mate.
Yes, but: I am afraid to allow love in. I am afraid to be vulnerable.

Affirmation: I am open to love now and welcome my perfect mate.
Yes, but: I am afraid I'm not good/smart/talented/attractive enough.

Affirmation: I am open to love now and welcome my perfect mate.
Yes, but: I am afraid of the responsibility love requires.

Affirmation: I am open to love now and welcome my perfect mate.
Yes, but: Love will weaken me. It will make me compromise.

Affirmation: I am open to love now and welcome my perfect mate.
Yes, but: I resist love because it will end, and I will be abandoned.

Keep writing the affirmation and yes, buts until you run out of rebuttals. Finally, say the positive statement again and notice how you feel. Can you accept that it is now true? Jennifer began to feel better about herself and started to date more.

Another client, Marsha, is a single woman who works long hours at a very busy job. She told me that she felt very lonely and wanted a girl friend to hang out and have fun with. She used the two step system and was astounded at what occurred.

Marsha shared that a few days after practicing her affirmations, while waiting for the elevator in the office building where she worked, a woman who worked at a company down the hall was waiting for the elevator as well. Although they had seen each other occasionally they had never spoken. By the time they reached the main floor they had started a conversation and discovered that they shared many interests. Within a few weeks Marsha had the friend she was seeking. Use this quick and easy method starting today and you may be surprised at what happens.

Take advantage of a free phone consult with Gloria to practice this two step protocol. Download Gloria's free eBook Creating Happiness.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Gloria Arenson

Marriage and Family Therapist

Gloria Arenson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Diplomate in Comprehensive Energy Psychology and author of 7 books. She is passionate about helping people help themselves to be free of negative emotions and compulsive behaviors. Her motto is :"The unexamined life is not worth living."


Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Credentials: DCEP, EFT-ADV, MFT, MS
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