Couples that have great relationships will normally site a wide variety of factors as to why that is. However, a common characteristic is the ability to communicate with each other. Great communication is something virtually everyone strives for but very few can come close to achieving. The ability to be understood and to understand others during the communication process is a skill worth developing. Imagine the last time you asked your spouse/partner a question and the response received was not even close to an answer. The question asked seemed simple enough to be understood… Right? This will often result in communication shutting down or perhaps a feeling of frustration or maybe even a pointless argument.
A tool to help understand how each of us makes decisions is available to help. Responses to questions require decisions to be made. The tool is called an Attribute Index Assessment. Each of us processes information in our own unique way in the formulation of answers to questions. Let me share a personal example. I will often ask my wife, Jill, what do you want to have for dinner? She will rarely if ever directly answer the question with a direct response like steak and a vegetable. Instead I will get a response of the time she wants to eat or other food related response but not an answer to my initial question. Jill responds to virtually any question I ask her no matter the topic in this manner. Initially, I found this response to be quirky and thought she was intentionally messing with me. There is a more rational explanation. Jill responds to making decisions by utilizing a systems judgment or process type response.