What Guys Keep Missing in Online Dating

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What Guys Keep Missing in Online Dating
Many men don't understand how learning to engage is what gets them dates. Read on.
  • Wink, favorite, rate, etc: Ok while these aren't bad things, these certainly aren't active ways of engagement. They are super easy to do, so a lot of men do them. But think of it this way, if she's an attractive woman especially, you're going to get lost in the shuffle. Lots of other guys are winking too (or equivalent). How does your wink separate you from all the other winks she gets? It doesn't.  Now what?
  • Emails: The only true way to start engagement is with an email. You're going to have to have conversation at some point via email, there is no getting around it. But you need to know how to create a conversation via email. Of the men that are willing to send a girl emails, very very few know how to send engaging emails. And that is how you'll stand apart and get responses. 

 

What do I mean by that?

I mean they don't know how to make conversation a woman can respond to. Remember your whole point in sending an email is to get a woman to respond. There is no other point; you can't get to a date unless she responds.

So what do you need to do? You need to give her something to respond to!

 

Don't just tell her how pretty she is. Don't just tell her that she seems like an interesting woman. Don't just tell her how you'd like to take her out. Don't tell her how you think you'd get a long well. Don't just tell her how you would like to get to know her more. If your email has no questions in it, be prepared to not receive a reply. Why should she? She views that if you wanted to get to know her, you would ask questions in an attempt to get to know her! 

So you know you need to ask questions but they need to be good questions. Don't just say, "Hi, how are you?" Or don't just ask, "How is your day going?" These questions don't actually attempt to get to know her. These emails are easy for her to ignore. 

All of these are common emails to a female and she doesn't feel inclined to respond for several reasons. She views them as flat, boring, uninspired and don't give a woman a feeling like she is being seen, understood, appreciated and pursued.

You need to always need to ask a question. Asking the right questions is a skill. Start by trying to find what she seems to have an interest in and asking her feelings or thoughts about it. She wants to feel like you want to get to know her so your questions should be purposed with that.

 

So here is the lessons of today's article:  Don't be passive. Be active and with purpose. You'll get more traction.

Have you noticed any email techniques that you feel work or don't work better than others?

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Gina Stewart

Dating Coach

Gina Stewart is the happy owner of ExpertOnlineDating.com, where she helps daters get more from their online dating experience and getting better dates. Chosen by DatingAdvice.com as one of the 10 Best Online Dating Experts, Expert Online Dating specializes in helping men and women maximize their online dating experiences with knockout profile writing, picture selection, messaging techniques and account management. All expertly crafted to get you out meeting better dates! www.ExpertOnlineDating.com

Location: LA/OC Califonia, CA
Credentials: BS
Specialties: Online Dating
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