I think my Dad’s confused by modern guys. He always doles out advice like “How does everyone expect to know what’s at the end of the finish line before they’ve even started to run,” implying that going into a relationship is a journey that requires some leaps of faith without any guarantees. And “Pick a date fit for a mate.” Which means don’t even get started dating someone if you know things about them that are things you don’t want in a mate. Save yourself the heartache. And finally, “Gina, it doesn’t matter who you end up with, it’s going to take work. You’re going to fall in and out of love with the same person a million times. Pick someone who isn’t going to be afraid to work at it through the times when things aren’t perfect.”
It doesn’t sound like a happily ever after fairy tail advice but maybe it’s the shot of relationship realities that we’re missing from The Bachelor. The dude has been married nearly 45 years and my parents are actually happy, so I choose to listen. I’m not anywhere near marriage yet but being accountable to tell my Dad about who I’m dating holds me accountable to dating men that are actually worth dating. Until then as my Dad once thoughtfully expressed to me, he’ll “always be the man in my life until someone comes a long that can take his place.”
Even if you don’t have a Dad in your life like mine, the idea of accountability to someone who knows that you deserve something good is important. If you feel embarrassed to tell your friends or mother or sister about what your guy tells you, how he treats you or how he behaves, take it as a signal that maybe you shouldn’t be dating him. Because if he’s quality, there should be transparency. You don’t have to hide who he is from the people who really care about you.
I think my Dad is right, that it’s worth being single until the right one comes along. If you want to use his advice for your own love life or someone to make fun of your dates, let me know, he’s happy to give it.