What; PMS and intimacy in the same sentence? Yes, they do go hand in hand and let me tell you how and why. First of all, let’s take a look at what PMS REALLY is. To do that I have to explain to you that in my world and the work that I do, I love to redefine negative concepts and language, imbuing them with positivity. Life after all is all about perspective. We tend to believe what we’ve been told growing up by the adults in our life, as well as buying into all the media messages we are bombarded with constantly. What I do and what I’m asking you to do is THINK FOR YOURSELF. Reframe things outside the box so that they empower you, rather than victimize you. PMS as I have redefined it stands for Powerful Monthly Sight. Ladies, open your minds. You guys, too.
Ladies first. Each month, beyond our hormonal changes, we have emotional shifts that happen. I am a firm believer that this aspect has not been examined nearly closely enough in all the “research” that’s been done on our menstrual cycle, yet every woman knows what I’m talking about when I say this. Each month, for women who tend to play “nice,” and people please for others in their lives, especially our mates and our kids, even bosses and friends, when we are not honest about our truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, we end up suppressing a lot of emotion, which always ends up turning into anger, and depending on how many years of your life you’ve been doing this, it can often turn into pure, unmitigated rage. For women who have trouble expressing anger, it pours through your eyes as tears. but something sets you off, usually something your spouse or your child does, and you just explode. Basically you blow emotional chunks all over the place and leave a mess everywhere. And the truth is, you only feel better for a moment, as you have not really addressed or healed what was causing you to feel these feelings in the first place.
Men, you too experience our PMS (the mainstream version). You notice without fail that each month, there is a cycle to the emotional issues the woman (or women, as in daughters, friends, etc.) in your life experiences, and you wisely connect the dots and often end up saying things like, “you must be about to get your period because you’re bringing THAT up again.” When you make that statement, a woman will feel that you’re not taking her seriously and simply labeling her hormonal, like the media and everyone else around her does, too.
What to do ladies and gents? Go deep into the issues using my model of Powerful Monthly Sight and let the conversation lead you into the realm of intimacy. Ladies, this is the time of the month where the rose colored glasses come off, where you get a shot of truth serum in the arm, and all the ways that you have been BS’ing yourself all month long, perhaps for years, are in your face, in black and white. All the ways that you have not been honoring yourself, your truth, your needs are before you in the resultant “issues,’ ready for you to address.