Another tactic I have thought of is to complain about my husband so that they can think, “Well, I may be single but at least I don’t have to put up with that crap.” The only problem is that it gives the impression that marriage is bad and that my man is annoying. It’s not and he isn’t. I want single women to know that marriage can be great and not all men suck.
The worst part of marriage is that the members of the “Smug Married People” club are all over you and pressuring you to join. You probably know these people, the ones who can no longer speak of themselves alone or seem to be able to do anything by themselves. It is always, “We went to Hawaii” or “Jim and I love gazpacho!” It is tragic.
I recall several married ladies, upon hearing of my newlywed status, getting downright jubilant at welcoming me into their circle. Here they were, shouting out such drivel as, “Isn’t married life wonderful?!’ and “Oh it’s so fantastic that you found each other.” And yes, they are right. It is fantastic and wonderful but what’s with all the hoopla? All I did was get married, not cure cancer. I didn’t even save a life or benefit society. I love my husband and I’m glad we are together but do married people have to act like they accomplished the greatest feat on earth?
Getting married does not make you a superior person. It’s a regular part of life and millions do it all the time.
Overall, I think the best game plan is to always remember my single days and what it felt like to be pitied and made to feel like a sub-human being. If I can remember these feelings, then I can still relate to single people with intelligence and kindness, rather than accusation and stupidity. I have caught myself before I said, "God, I'm so glad I found Jonathan," or "Dating was brutal.” My single friends still like to hang out with me and I love to hear the dating stories.
To be honest, they are much more entertaining than the married folks.
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