ProConnect

Why I Refuse to Join the Smug Married Club

By

Why I Refuse to Join the Smug Married Club
What do you know about the Smug Married club? Read more to see what you can learn.

By GalTime Ambassador, Lindsley Lowell, for GalTime.com

More from YourTango: Want To Improve Your Marriage? Get Organized With Weekly Meetings

It’s difficult to be tough while wearing crap-brown taffeta. Plus, being the only single bridesmaid at my friend’s wedding was quickly chiseling away at my “Don’t mess with me, I’m the honey badger!” thick exterior. So when an extremely obnoxious fellow bridesmaid gave me a speech on how tragic my single life must be and how she would “absolutely die” if she were ever single again and how she was “so incredibly happy” in her marriage, I wanted to crawl into bed and drink a bottle of wine (which I did, after the reception).

But rather than let her see me suffer, I pulled up my big-girl panties and said to her ,“I’m really glad you are happy and I really hope you are… (Here, I paused for dramatic effect while giving a suspicious look) because I think what would be even worse is to be in a terrible marriage and have to go around pretending to everyone that it was the most wonderful thing ever. Could you imagine?!”

 

Then, I turned on my dyed-to-match heels and walked away, leaving her in shock with her mouth agape. Take that, wretched woman! (By the way, she is now divorced. Karma is a bitch.)

Related:  Why Marriage Isn't for Everyone

 

It was right then and there that I made an oath to myself that when I got married, I would never, ever make a single woman feel like shit simply for being single.

More from YourTango: How Often Should You Bathe Your Baby?

I like to think that I have lived up to that oath. Now married for two years, I still have many single girlfriends and try to be the beacon of hope that it is possible to find true love over the age of 35, while also being the “Single ladies rule!” cheerleader.

Sometimes, I fear, it is a precarious place to be. I remember when I was single and married people would say to me, “Oh you’ll find a guy like my David and you will be so happy. Marriage is wonderful.” I wanted to go throw up into their his-and-her towels in their well-appointed guest bathroom. When you are single and a couple tells you how happy they are, it’s like dangling a cheesecake in front of a diabetic, telling them how delicious it tastes. They can have it but you can’t. It is cruel and twisted and must stop.

I truly hope I am not making my single friends gag and wince in my wedded bliss. It’s hard at times to edit myself because I am happily married and therefore can be one of those giddy schoolgirls smiling uncontrollably, saying gooey things about my man. It hasn’t come to drawing hearts and our names on a notebook, but it’s close. It is at these times that my single gal pals want to run far away and never see me again and I certainly don’t want that, so I am careful not to flaunt it.

 

Related: Why Can't Women Take a Compliment?!

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Computer Problems

Meeting Online: Safety Tips to Date By

Meeting online requires a little more vigilance than other types of dating.

Brain

Use Goal Setting To Get A Boyfriend

You use goal setting in your professional life, but you can also use it to find true love.

shame

Uncovering the "Scandal" Behind Abusive Relationships

The media is abuzz with the news that “Scandal” star Columbus Short recently ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS