Why I Love 'The Real Housewives'

By SMF Marcus Osborne for GALTime

I’m a reality show junkie. “American Idol,” “Intervention,” “Millionaire Matchmaker,” “Dancing With The Stars,” “Hoarders,” “Cops,” “48 Hours, ″ “Survivor,” “HBO’s Hard Knocks,” “Keeping Up With The Kardashians…” (Actually I watch ALL the Kardashian shows) love ‘em! And oh yeah, I could name ten more with ease.

More from YourTango: The One Thing He Can't Do For You

For most folks, simply admitting that you throw away hours of your life on these programs is grounds for an IQ check. The intellectual elites think of TV as junk food for the brain. If you buy that analogy, then think of reality television as a 5-pound stick of butter melting over a bag of Ding Dongs or sprinkling a pound of sugar on a Big Mac.

But there’s one show — actually, one show franchise that makes even yours truly think that maybe this isn’t the best use of my free time. I’m talking about the deplorable, shameful, awful yet delicious, “Real Housewives” franchise on the BRAVO television network. The locations change — Orange County, New Jersey, New York, Beverly Hills, Miami, Washington DC, Atlanta… dear God, the train wreck that is Atlanta! — but the awfulness remains the same. It’s all just so. Damn. BAD.

Related: Fernanda Rocha on Being the First Lesbian on Real Housewives of Orange County

These women are about as vapid, shallow and self-centered as any trust fund baby girl has ever been reputed to be…. and I love them. And therein lies my not-so-secret shame. This franchise is a hot mess at a magnitude TV viewers have never witnessed. The ultimate in “train-wreck-itis.”

I simply can’t…. look…. away.

More from YourTango: How To Get Financially Stable After Divorce

Of note: The drama queen-ness of the New York women. Like Jill Zarin, who (to her credit), is constantly trying to better herself by not gossiping and judging the other women… yet continues to gossip about and judge the other women! How about the Countess De Lesseps? The former model who addresses everyone as “daaah-ling.” It’s the height of self-importance for this woman to proclaim her “classiness and elegance” at every opportunity. Doesn’t that self-congratulatory stance make you anything but? I could go on about the cartoonish, weirdo, self-righteousness of New York’s, Ramona and her Orange County spiritual twin, Vicki. Wow!

Then there’s the wannabe fabulousness of the Atlanta Housewives. This crew is the one that put this franchise on the map. NeNe, the brash and overbearing one who thinks “telling it like it is” and “keepin’ it real” are excuses to be a… word that starts with a “b.” No not THAT word…. I was thinking about the word “bully!”