When a couple breaks up, it’s natural for their friends to pick a side. But who gets what friend?
As difficult as it was for Carlee to try to remain neutral, Ikka says she made the right decision.
"When friends take sides, it can further exacerbate an already emotionally trying time for the people going through the separation—especially if those friends take on any unproductive or destructive behaviors displayed by the couple. A good friend is one who offers support, an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on," Ikka says.
Depending on how the couple handles the split, it is possible for friends to remain neutral, Ikka adds. "There is such a thing as an amicable breakup and although rare, in these instances, friends feel less pressure to pick a side. If the separated couple is able to be amicable, or at least civil, there is less reason for the friends to feel caught up in the middle of the drama."
And if that isn’t possible, Carolyn Kingman Javick, a married mother of two from New Jersey, says, "They should do what they learned in kindergarten—and that is to share! Otherwise, it puts friends in a very uncomfortable situation having to choose. It will pan out over time who they become closer to."
Ikka agrees. "My philosophy is that when a friendship is authentic, it stands the test of time, including breakups. And it is possible for an individual or a couple to remain friends with both parties who have gone their separate ways. It takes honest communication, a commitment by all parties, and some organization and planning, but it’s certainly possible." Keep Reading...