Real sex is a responsibility. Real sex is never free. Pregnancy, infections, emotional reactions, self-perceptions, priorities; these are a few of the risks of real sex (even if, especially if, it is a one-time thing). Your teen needs to understand that real sex comes with obligations to herself and to her partner, and a responsibility for the outcomes of their sexual behavior.
Real sex is not as importantas it seems. Sometimes, sex isn’t even that good. As a biological drive (see real sex is powerful above), your brain makes sex seem really important. There are other things worth doing. Real sex is not a true source of happiness. Make sure your teen knows he needs to get a life.
Real sex is boring without love. Real sex can be boring, even unpleasant. Sexual fantasies become stale. Previously exciting positions don’t quite do it anymore. Sexual partners lose their appeal. Except. When you have strong emotional feelings for your partner, there is no same old position (though trying new things is still fun). Your teen needs to know that when real sex is an expression of love, it continues to be a source of satisfaction for a long, long time.
Given the prevalence of sex as a marketing strategy in our society, it is crucial to help your teenager have a realistic view of sex and sexuality. You might even be able to save them from the hard lessons you had to learn. But be sure to have the even more important conversations about relationships and love and the qualities to look for in a long term romantic partner. And then cross your fingers.
Did we leave anything out? What else do teens need to know about sex?
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