It’s been a while since I really ticked someone off. I mean, I’ve been on a serious streak of low-keyness. This is a clear indication that I’m going soft. Not that I’m intentionally trying to incite a digital riot over here, but I do try to challenge conventional wisdom and get men and women open and honestly communicating. Soooooo….
..let’s talk virgins!
A couple of buddies and I were having this conversation about relationships with a few girlfriends of ours. The discussion eventually turned to how old we all were when we lost our virginity. Which led to more chatter from the ladies about how guys would prefer their wives or girlfriends to be virgins. Apparently there’s a belief that guys get turned on thinking they’re “the first.”
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Who started that nonsense? I have yet to actually meet a grown man who wants Polly Purebread as his lover. I’m not saying he wants her “love number” to be as high as the national debt, just saying that he likes to know that she’s accrued some “skills.”
Here’s the thing. Virginity is not hot. If you’re an adult, bragging about your purity at age twenty-eight is a turn-off. If you’re thirty-plus and you’re still a virgin, it had better be because you’re checking into a convent.
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That sonic boom you just heard is the simultaneous explosion of a million puritan heads. So perhaps I should acknowledge and address those folks first.
To you, the puritan/religious crowd. Just stop. Stop acting all outraged. If God didn’t want people to have sex, he(she?) would have made it a hell of a lot less enjoyable.
Her: “Honey! Come to bed! I’ve got a surprise for you!”
Him: “Awwwwwww c’mon, sweetie! Sex AGAIN?!”
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And let’s keep it real here, how many of you were virgins after college? How many of you were virgins on your wedding night?
Yeah, that’s what I thought. And thank your luck stars you weren’t! Virginity would have gotten in the way. Guys do not want to go out with virgins. He doesn’t want the responsibility of being “the first.” He doesn’t want to be “the teacher.”
Ok, so now that I’ve managed to bug a million uptight men and women – why stop there?