3. You will invariably find proof that this insecurity plays out in your life. Instead, look for examples when it didn’t. Continuing with my example, have you ever had a partner be faithful for any length of time? This is a powerful opportunity to shift your perspective, and it is your perspective that makes you feel insecure.
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4. Look for clues to your part in the dynamic that creates your insecurity, and commit to changing your own behaviors. For example, are you overly suspicious or controlling about where your partner goes? You can’t make someone cheat, but you can certainly drive someone away with obsessive, controlling behavior like that.
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5. Decide how you want to replace the insecurity. The great thing about being an adult is that you get to choose your thoughts and beliefs. Instead of fearing that your partner will cheat, what if you decided to attract someone faithful? What if you expected faithfulness and looked for clues to support that?
Steps three and four are where the growth happens. They may sound simple, but it takes consistent action to make the shift. Step five is an ongoing process: small steps taken consistently will shift your thoughts and feelings and you will begin to attract what you really want instead of what you’ve been accustomed to getting. Stick with it; it may take weeks or months to fully shift a long-held insecurity, but you’ll notice progress along the way. Celebrate your successes and remember: it’s ok to be afraid, but it’s not ok to let your fear keep you from living your life fully. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal! If you’d like some help shifting your perspective, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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