2."My child is too smart to do anything stupid on the computer." Please rethink that one. There is so much room for misjudgment and mistakes when using technology.
3. "Not my kid." Maybe your kid will get wasted at a party but mine is just not that foolish. Think again because your child is just that a child.
4. "My teens love that I'm like a friend to them." Nope,this is not true. They want you to be a parent. Hopefully, they have friends and need you to be a nurturing authority figure. Yes, nurturing and setting limits and expectations can co-exist. Also, do yourself a favor and do not share their clothing. It is their turn to be a teen not yours. You had your teen years, remember.
5. "My teens just don't want to talk to me anymore." It is easy to see how you'd think this since they are often surly and unresponsive but, in fact, they do want to talk to you-just at the right moments, when they are ready, and in their own way.
C. What are the things that you should learn about that you have ignored because you have so much on your plate?
1. Maybe you have bought your kids all of the latest technology but have failed to learn about how it works. This is not a good idea. Get a tutorial in all things technological. This seems so scary. If I was able to do it then so can you. I am no technological wizard but I can now proudly say that I know that a tweet is more than a sound that a bird makes.
2. Learn about the teen trends. Kids get angry when they feel that their parents are clueless about their culture. This is especially true of teens. Keep in mind that you may be aghast when you learn of some of these trends. It is necessary,though, that you be aware of them so that you can talk to your kids intelligently and based on what teens are doing in 2012 rather than what we did in our teen years. Bob Dylan was right when he sang about "how the times they are a changing."
3.Try to get to know their friends' parents. They may not like this but this is your parental responsibility. And, if you have suspicions that there are parents who may be comfortable serving alcohol to your minors ten check out your hunches. There is a lot of information that can be acquired by getting to know the parents. I'm not suggesting that you bring them into your inner circle of friends but simply that you find opportunities to get to know who they are and what their belief systems are.
4. Get to know their friends before blaming them for your child's misbehavior. You may wrongly assume that they are influencing your kids negatively when ,in fact, the reverse may be true. And, if you judge a friend that you don't know-I can guarantee that you will be seen as judgmental and your child will shut down even more. This is certainly not the outcome that you are looking for.