By Marcus Osborne for GalTime.com
Your Straight Male Friends take pride in pushing the envelope of conventional male/female conversation. Indeed, it’s the very reason we exist: To drag the most clandestine debates and discussions out of the darkness and shining upon them the light of “keepingitrealness.”
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We’re about to discuss a topic that I can, with absolute certitude, declare has rarely — if ever– been publicly addressed. It seems to be almost taboo to even hint at it in mixed company.
In the interest of fairness, this absolutely is NOT conversation content for children. Even many adults catch a case of the “stutters” if the subject is broached.
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“Uhhh…errr..well..um…sometimes…I sort of…uhhh..”
Yeah. We know. Hard to spit the words out.
So if you’re over the age of 17, and you’re a fearless conversationalist, let’s get to it:
We’re talking about sex.
Oh I can hear you already, “But Marcus, you sexy piece of irresistible chocolate man granite, we always talk about sex.” Ok, so maybe you didn’t say it exactly like that, but point taken. We do talk about sex here at SMF, but we’ve never served up the subject of sex…at that time of the month.
Oh. No. He. Di’ n’t!
Oh yes he di’….nt?
A moment to allow the dry-heaving to desist.
Let’s not act like this isn’t or hasn’t been an issue for couples for centuries, OK? In my very unscientific survey, it seems that not only are more women OK with “doin’ it” around then, but apparently women reach mythical heights of arousal during this time. If this is true, the week-long window could prove to be the best of times and the worst of times for the man who happens to be partnered with the lady on her “dot.”
Elevated arousal? AWESOME! He’s in! (No pun intended) On the other hand….it is “that time of the month.” Which, if we’re being honest, can be an extremely tricky emotional time for ladies. So guys need to wear boots while they’re walking on those eggshells.
I caught a clip of a Discovery Channel documentary the other day. I was witness to the mating ritual of the praying mantis. It’s more than an understatement to say that things do not end well for the male mantis.
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You see, after the deed is done, what does the female mantis do? No, she does not ask for a towel or smoke a cigarette. The female mantis (by the way, twice the size of the male mantis) thanks the male mantis by biting off the head of the male mantis.