Your much needed guide to making it through the season of flowers,tulle & cake if you're flying solo
It's a new twist on an old saying-- "Is the champagne flute half empty... or half full?" That's the way singles can look at the upcoming wedding season. According to Melissa E. Malka, contributor for JMag, the online magazine for JDate.com, “For singles, attending wedding after wedding can be a constant reminder that you’re not quite there yet." But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Malka explains, "Keep in mind that there is always something left to learn... whether it's discovering new things about old friends you see at the wedding, meeting new people, or realizing how fantastic your life really is (single or not). You don't often learn those lessons within the confines of your own home."
Sometimes when you're unattached, it can be tough to motivate yourself to go to a wedding, but as Malka cautions, remember who it's really about. "A wedding, unless it's yours, isn't about you and you choosing to miss it can result in worse consequences than sucking it up to be there for your friend. You should go because, aside from the obvious potential for meeting new people, eating free cake and making fun of bad dresses, there is always something to discover anywhere you go!" Malka's sharing her tips on surviving (and even thriving) this wedding season:
1. Start from the outside and work your way in. “I never (read: never) advise people to use their looks or appearance as the foundation for impacting their self-confidence and level of happiness, with one exception: weddings.” You never know who might be there (the bride’s cousin or the groom’s best friend from college perhaps?) and the wedding photos will be around forever – two very good reasons to look fabulous!
Related: How to Attend a Wedding on a Budget
2. Don’t be the center of attention. This is the bride and groom’s special day. Don’t be that obnoxious drunk guy or that bitter single girl.
3. Don’t drink too much and turn into a wreck. Leave the Jaeger bombs at the frat house. Who wants to sit at a table with a sloppy mess?
4. Deflect or direct THAT nosy question. It's that question singles dread hearing at weddings, "Why aren't YOU married yet?" There are two effective approaches to dealing with it... deflect or direct. "To deflect, just revisit everyone's favorite subject: themselves. Ask them about their new job, their dog or recent trip to Italy."
And if that doesn't work-- try being direct. "The other approach is way more direct When they ask, just respond with the truth. "For example, in my own case, if someone asked why I was single, I'd say, 'It's just that I haven't found a guy who's able to keep up with the whole she's a dating coach who travels around the country coaching people thing... do you know a guy who's smart, hot and confident enough for that?' Nope? Me neither!"
5. Bring someone amazing. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t have fun at a wedding. “We all have one person who fits the category of ‘someone I can have fun with anywhere, anytime, no matter what’ and that is exactly who you should be bringing as your platonic date.” People naturally gravitate towards those who are having fun, and that includes potential suitors.
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