By Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D. for GalTime
Dating can be a rough gig. At times, there's so much rejection that it feels like you are willingly showing up to get slapped in the face, over and over. Even if you have a naturally strong self-worth, once deflated and defeated, it can be hard to maintain your confidence when date after date leads nowhere.
The problem starts when you begin to doubt that you are indeed, a total catch. That you really do have something the opposite sex longs for-- that you are in fact, worthy. Once your head game goes south, it can be hard to get back on track and create real attraction.
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That’s when you need a complete dating reframe, a revolutionary way of seeing dating that hands you back your confidence so you can approach that cutie across the room, knowing beyond any doubt that you have something so valuable they’ll thank you for it.
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So what’s the gift you have to give that other singles need so much? You can offer the experience of really being seen. By asking meaningful questions and listening closely, you can start to see who someone really is. You get a feel for what is important to them, what lights them up, and what they value. Then you can compliment them on that and instantly, they feel seen, perhaps for the first time in a very long time, and that creates instant interest and attraction towards you.
Why is offering the experience of being seen so successful for dating? Because feeling seen is one of human kind’s deepest, most critical underlying needs. According to a whole field of research in psychology known as Attachment, those first experiences of being seen, held, and loved by your mother create such a powerful feeling, that you will continue to crave that experience for the rest of your life!
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