Sister Rivalry: Teaching Them How to Get Along


Sister Rivalry: Teaching Them How to Get Along
Sisters disagree all the time. Figure out how to fix some arguments here!

By Talking Teenage, Jennifer A. Powell-Lunder, Psy.D., for

how to stop the fighting

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Not long ago they seemed thick as thieves. Although there are several years between them, they always managed to find ways to play together.

Sure, your older daughter would get annoyed when her younger sister went for her toys, but overall things were peaceful.

So, what happened? It seems as if since your oldest hit high school she doesn’t have the time of day for her doting sister.

In fact, although you hate to be honest with yourself, on occasion she has been downright mean toward her.

Of course, you have sat her down and discussed her behavior. You’ve tried to explain that she should be flattered that her younger sister sees her in such high esteem and that, in reality, her little sis seems to wish she could be her.

Related: Can Being A Sibling Teach You To Have A Good Relationship?

While these talks have some effect, sometimes it feels like only minutes later that you are once again in the role of a ref. In fact,you have recently contemplated buying a whistle or at least a flag or two you could throw down when their interactions get mean and nasty.
Your older daughter does have somewhat of a point at times.

Life can be difficult when your younger sister is always following you around to the point where it looks like stalking. To say she is in your older daughter’s business (or at least trying) is an understatement at times.

She is quick to come to you with the hottest news on who your older daughter is talking to and about what. The truth is-- your youngster would make a great spy. Although you constantly redirect her surveillance efforts, a part of you is glad for the intel.

You long for the days when they played ‘school’ and ‘house’  together. Of course, they still have many moments. There was your trip this summer to the beach…well at least the long car ride, sort of. Even if they were both plugged in to their own movies and music at least they were getting along.

Related: 3 Tips For Strengthening Sibling Bonds


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Will your oldest ever give her younger sis the time of day again? Is there a way to help find a middle ground? Here are some thoughts on how to approach this tricky situation:

1. Encourage together time. Ask your older daughter to devote some time to her younger sister. Appeal to her natural egocentrism by pointing out there is much she has to teach her. Ask her to pick a specific hour a week (the same day and time each week) when she can spend some time with her idolizing sibling. After all, there is much she can teach her.


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