My guess is that scheduling,would have the unexpected consequence of stripping away (another unintended pun) much of the emotional aspect of being with someone you care about. I would hate to believe that a woman was with me simply because it’s a nine PM appointment. Not that it can’t still be enjoyable, but the trade-off is that you end up removing a vital component of a sexual relationship—spontaneity. I get two messages from this kind of set up and neither is particularly positive.
1. The couple isn’t really sexually attracted to one another. They can “do it” because they’ve got some history, but if they each had their druthers, they’d probably rather watch snails race than to get nekkid with each other.
2. There’s a gap in the opposing sex drives of the couple so this is one alternative. Of course that puts one person in the unenviable position of simply performing out of duty.
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I tend to think both are long-term problems and are likely irreconcilable because obviously, you can’t manufacture attraction. And sure a guy could take a pill or woman could take shot to fire up the desire, but bumping up the sex drive doesn’t necessarily equate to attraction to each another. It could simply mean that both of you are now all horned up with the only option being each other.
Now, I’m fully acknowledging that each couples’ situation is different. Each couple’s needs and desires are unique. I’m just unsure what would be the long-term benefit of regularly planned sex…or if there’s any benefit at all.
Perhaps this is me being unusually glass-half-empty, but from my perspective, the potential down-side of this arrangement eclipses the potential gains. But that’s just me. What do you think? To plan or not to plan?
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